You Could Save Me Too
by MilesToNowhere
Summary: All Santana wanted was a job. In fact, she didn't even want that. The thing is, she doesn't know if it was the best thing that ever happened to her... Or the worst.
1. Seven Years Ago

Seven Years Ago

The only reason I had agreed to play this ridiculous game was because of Quinn. She had practically begged me, saying it was going to be fun and exciting. I had foolishly fallen for it. And now I was standing in an abandoned part of Lima in the middle of the night trying to find either one of my two best friends. Which was anything but fun and exciting. It was scary as fuck.

I had been looking for Puck and Quinn for the decent part of half an hour when I heard something move behind me. I spun round quickly, almost losing my balance, and caught sight of a small creature streaking across the road towards one of the old abandoned houses. And, of course, as a twelve year old child, I followed.

I'm still not sure whether it was the worst decision I ever made...

Or if it was the best.

The door to the house had been knocked out and the stench of rotting wood hit me as I neared it. It looked as though half of it had been burnt down and I could see what looked to be a dining room from where I stood on the street because one of the walls had been completely ruined. I walked closer towards it, ignoring the stench and instead trying to find what had been running across the street.

You know how they say curiosity killed the cat? Well, it nearly did when I entered the house and stepped on the tail of a small kitten. The loud screech caused me to jump and the cat ran further into the house.

Now that I was inside, I could see all the dust that had gathered along any furniture that looters hadn't wanted to take. Or maybe it was ash? I didn't know and my attention quickly drew away from the decor of the burnt out house and towards the cat that had headed for what I assumed was the kitchen.

I walked into the room and found its eyes glaring at me and its tail was swaying angrily in the air. I glared back and looked around. This room seemed to have suffered least from the fire which was strange. Surely if a house was going to set fire, it would start in the kitchen. I shrugged off the thought and turned my eyes back to the cat which seemed to have calmed down. I moved towards it and, when it didn't move away, scratched it behind the head. It didn't take long for the little sucker to start purring.

I was still supposed to be looking for Puck and Quinn but having another living being around me in such an abandoned part of town made me feel a lot safer.

I slowly moved to pick the cat up, cautious of its claws. It didn't scratch me but instead settled peacefully in my arms and stayed that way as I walked back through the house and out of the front door.

Like before, I saw movement in the street.

This time however, whatever moved was a lot bigger than a little kitten.

I huddled the cat closer to me as I started to walk back towards when Puck, Quinn and I had started the stupid game of hide and seek. When I got there, I saw the two of them sitting on the bench looking quite bored.

Puck saw me first and jumped up from the bench. Then he saw the cat in my arms and rushed forward to fuss over it. I think it wasn't too happy with that because it tried to claw away from Puck which resulted in multiple scratches down my arm and a cat now attached to my shoulder. Puck seemed a little shocked that it had reacted in such a way and I saw a slight hint of rejection on his face. I would have laughed had claws not been digging into my shoulder.

Quinn was glaring at me from where she sat on the bench.

"And where were you?" she scowled.

"Looking for you idiots," I threw back, matching her glare.

"Then what's with the cat?"

"I found it. For someone so smart, you're a little slow today, Fabray."

She continued our staring competition for a few seconds more before her eyes flickered away. I felt a small amount of triumph and the corner of my mouth curled up slightly.

"Me and Puck need to go home," she said eventually as she looked back at me with less anger. "We thought we'd wait and walk you back too. It's not safe at this time of night."

I scoffed. "Please, Fabray. Do you _know_ where I live? I can get home just fine by myself."

She raised an eyebrow. "So you don't want to walk with us?"

I faltered for a moment, still scared of what would happen if I was left in the dark. But I didn't show my fear, just shrugged my shoulders which almost resulted in the cat falling off. "If you're walking in my direction, I might as well join you suckers."

The small smile of amusement on Quinn's face let me know that she didn't fall for it but she didn't say anything, just stood up from the bench and walked off. "Come on, then. We wouldn't want you to get lost."

I ignored her mocking tone as Puck and I trailed after her with the cat still on my shoulder. I caught sight of a black collar around its neck with a name printed on it. Lord Tubbington? What kind of name is that?

"Are you taking that home with you?" Puck asked, glaring at the cat. He still looked angry from being rejected by it.

"Yeah. I think it lived in one of the abandoned houses. Some bastards probably left it behind."

"Are you two going to hurry up?" Quinn shouted at us. I looked at her and realised she had walked quite a bit ahead of us. She was standing there with her hands on her hips and her eyes narrowed.

"You scared of walking on your own, Fab_gay_?" I shouted back at her and Puck chuckled beside me.

I saw her jaw tighten as we neared her. "What did you just say?"

I smirked, knowing I'd hit a nerve. "You know what I said. Don't pretend it's not true."

"I don't have a clue what you're talking about, Santana," Quinn said, shrugging and trying to calm down. I have to admit, she did put on a good show. But I still saw the hint of fear and anger in her eyes. She caught sight of the cat still hanging onto my shoulder and her mouth turned down slightly. "Aren't your parents going to be angry if you take a cat home?"

I raised an eyebrow at her. "They're never there, you know that. They won't care."

"But think about the amount of-"

I knew she was still talking but somebody had passed in front of us that made the world around me stop. I was frozen in place as I watched her walk across the street. She didn't notice us, keeping her eyes on the floor in front of her. She looked like she had tears running down her face but she looked like the most beautiful girl I had ever seen.

My feet were walking before I was aware of it and I saw her standing right in front of me. She still refused to lift her head and she tried to walk around me.

"Are you okay?" I heard myself ask.

She glanced up at me and my breath caught in my throat. She had beautiful blue eyes but they were red and leaking with tears. I felt myself getting lost in them as she continued to look at me. Then her gaze shifted to the cat on my shoulder and her eyes widened slightly.

"Sorry," she apologised, though I wasn't sure why and before I could stop her to ask, she had walked around me and was running up an alley. I watched her go and felt my heart sink when her blonde hair disappeared around the corner.

"Hey, Lopez," Puck shouted. "You coming?"

I glanced back at them for a moment before looking back down the alley and hoping the blonde blue eyed girl would come back. But she didn't and, after a few moments, I turned back to my two best friends with a forced smile on my face. I walked back over to them and ignored the suspicious look Quinn was giving me.

"Yeah, let's go."

* * *

When I got back home my parents were, as expected, not there. I walked into the empty house and set Lord Tubbington on the ground as I turned to lock the door. If my parents came back, which I doubted they would, they knew where the spare key was to get in.

I didn't bother switching on the lights as I walked into the kitchen. I got a bowl and filled it with milk for Lord Tubbington to drink. I put it on the ground and once he'd found it, I left him alone and walked up to my room. I left the door open for him in case he felt scared of being in the big house alone.

I walked around my room in the dark, knowing it well enough to get changed and get in bed without flicking on the light. My thoughts were still focused on the blonde haired blue eyed girl I'd seen just less than an hour ago. I hadn't seen her before but she had been walking in the direction of Lima Heights Adjacent. Nearly everyone around this area of town knew each other; if not out of friendship, then out of fear.

I shook my head and tried to get rid of the thought of her so I could sleep. Eventually, I did fall asleep but she accompanied me there too.

When I woke up the next morning and the several mornings afterwards, I thought that maybe I would see her again. But as the months passed and eventually those months became a year, I gave up on that hope and she was but a distant memory.


	2. Niceness

Present Day

I opened the door to my apartment and was immediately met by Tubbs rubbing his body against my legs and purring. I smiled and picked him up, grunting as I did so.

"Tubbs, you need to lose some weight," I muttered to him as I held him in front of my face. He meowed and blinked those big green eyes at me. "Did you miss me?" I asked him, walking into the kitchen and setting him down on the tiled floor.

"Of course he missed you," said a voice from behind me. "You're the only one who feeds the damn thing."

I looked over my shoulder and saw Quinn standing in the doorway, watching as I grabbed a can of cat food from the cupboard above the sink. "Hey, Quinn."

"Do you know how heavy that cat is?" she said. "You should put him on a diet."

"And I suggest you do the same with your pet hobbit," I smirked, glancing over at her whilst putting Tubbs' food into his bowl. "I can only guess how hard it is to carry Mini-Streisand around everywhere."

She glared at me. "I told you to be nice to her."

"And I told you to get rid of her," I shrugged. "I think it's pretty clear that neither of those things are going to happen."

I put Tubbs' bowl on the floor and he raced over to it as fast as he could. Which wasn't that fast. He really did need to lose some weight.

"How was college?" Quinn asked, letting go of the argument over her girlfriend. She took a seat at the table and watched me as I started to make my own food.

I shrugged my shoulders again. "It was okay. How was your day?"

Quinn sighed. "Well, Rachel was working so I stayed here all day."

I glared at her. "You were here all day and you didn't feed Tubbs? I thought you liked animals? Just because he's a bit on the big side doesn't mean you need to starve him."

She met my glare and huffed. "Santana, you only feed him human food. And I am not giving him _my_ food just because he refuses to eat cat food."

"He _is_ eating cat food!" I shouted, pointing at his bowl.

Quinn stood up and grabbed the empty can that I had placed on the side. "This is curry, San! Not cat food. And it looks like the really expensive stuff too."

"Hey, my Tubbs deserves the best," I muttered, finishing my sandwich and giving her one last glare before sitting down at the table.

She stood in front of me with her hands on her hips and giving me a stern look. I glanced up at her innocently. "Are you gonna stand there forever or are you gonna move your fake schnozzle out of my face?"

She narrowed her eyes further but let it go. I was surprised how much Quinn had changed since high school and I guess I had Rachel to thank for that, though I would never admit it. If she hadn't come into Quinn's life, I would probably have been beaten to death by now considering we shared an apartment. Our 'quality' time together had increased dramatically since high school.

My best friend sat next to me and took out her phone, reading a message.

"Do you have a job yet?" she asked me, texting the person, probably a really small person with mannish hands, back.

"Was I supposed to be looking for one?" I retorted, speaking around a mouthful of food.

She gave me a disgusted glance and then looked back at her text. "Your dad rang me a while ago and said if you don't have a job by the end of this month, he's stopping your allowance. I thought I told you?"

I shrugged. "You tell me many things, Quinn. I probably zoned out and thought you were talking about that fashion disaster you hang out with."

"Her name is Rachel, San," Quinn growled. "And I think the way she dresses is cute."

"You're supposed to think that," I said, rolling my eyes at her. "You're her girlfriend."

I saw her jaw tighten from the corner of my eye and smirked slightly. "Anyway," she muttered, changing the conversation, "you need to get a job. And Rachel may have found you one."

I frowned, suspicious. "Why would Rachel get me a job?"

"She hasn't _got_ you a job. She's gotten you a trial on Thursday. And she's a nice person, Santana. Which is more than I can say about you."

I decided to ignore the insult because it was true; I'm a total bitch. "Where is the job?"

"An antique shop near Grand Central. Rachel is friends with the girl who owns the place."

I gave her an incredulous look. She was expecting me to work in an _antique shop_ with one of _Rachel's friends_? "Erm... Yeah, I don't think I can do that. See, on Thursday I was planning on jumping off the top of the Empire State Building and I don't wanna cancel that to work with another Broadway enthusiast."

Quinn gave me a frustrated look. "You are _going_ to that trial, Santana Lopez. And if you don't, I am calling your dad and telling him you're not taking him seriously."

My eyes widened. "You wouldn't do that."

"You wanna bet?"

I narrowed my eyes at her and finished my sandwich. I looked back at her as I rinsed my plate and put it in the dishwasher. "Fine. I'll take the stupid job."

"Good," Quinn said, smiling and standing from her chair. "You can thank Rachel when she comes round for dinner tonight."

She was out of the room before I could argue with her.

* * *

"What was that?" Rachel asked with her eyes slightly widened in shock.

I cleared my throat and looked at the ceiling instead of at her. Maybe that would make this easier. It didn't and I still couldn't say the words so I looked back down to see Quinn glaring at me from behind Rachel. I spat my tongue out at her childishly and then glanced at Rachel.

"Thank you for helping me with getting a job," I muttered, my teeth clenched closed as I forced the words out of my mouth.

She stared at me for a moment before a grin burst out over her face. She took a step towards me and I realised she was about to give me a hug so I held my hands up to stop her.

"Just because I said thanks, doesn't mean we're friends," I said.

She had that sad look in her eyes that would have made me laugh had Quinn not been giving me death threats all night if I wasn't at least a little nice to her. Which was an extremely hard thing to do when they were both acting really cheesy. Even Tubbs had been giving them weird looks all night but he had disappeared somewhere about an hour ago and now I was on my own with them.

"Anyway, hobbit," I said, referring to her by her usual nickname. "I'm gonna leave now before I drown in my own niceness. Bye."

I walked from the hallway where we had been standing and into the lounge. Sweet Valley High was on so I sat down on the couch and watched it until Quinn walked in.

"Is she gone?" I asked when she walked to stand in front of the TV and put her hands on her hips. She looked annoyed but I didn't know. I'd been as nice to that little dork as I could.

"You need to stop calling her a hobbit, San," Quinn said.

I raised an eyebrow at her and folded my arms over my chest. "You sticking up for your little pet, Q?"

"And stop calling her my pet too!" Quinn shouted at me.

I exaggerated a wince. "Let's try and use our indoor voices, Q. We don't want the neighbours complaining."

She narrowed her eyes so her glare was almost deadly. "If you insult Rachel again, I will make your life miserable."

I laughed. "Quinn, you couldn't make my life any more miserable than yours. I mean, you spend all your time around that _thing_."

"I'll stop making you food." The grin fell from my face. "And I'll stop doing your laundry and cleaning up all of your mess."

I smiled nervously. "Okay, let's not be drastic here-"

"I won't do your shopping."

I felt my face grow pale and I gulped. I squeezed my eyes tightly. I couldn't believe I was doing this. "Fine. I won't insult your girlfriend."

After a few moments, I opened my eyes and saw Quinn smiling smugly. I glowered at her.

"You know," she said, picking up the plates from the coffee table that we had eaten from, "your lack of independence is quite unhealthy."

I shrugged and turned back to my Sweet Valley High. Sure, I depended on Quinn for a few things. Maybe a lot of things. But she was practically my sister and, hey, that's what sister's are for.

She walked out of the room with the plates and I could hear her place them in the dishwasher in the kitchen. I blanked out from the TV, wondering what this new job would be like. If it was in an antique store, it probably wouldn't be that great. And I bet Rachel's friend was one of those stuck up brats who never knew how to have any fun... a lot like Rachel, actually.

Quinn walked back into the room and a thought suddenly struck me. "Have you met that friend of Rachel's?"

Quinn smiled slightly and I knew it was because I had used Berry's first name instead of an insult. It bothered me. "I met her once. She's a very likeable girl. A bit slow though."

I scoffed. I knew there would be something wrong with her. She was Rachel's friend after all. "Is that why she's hiring someone?"

Quinn gave me an annoyed look. "She's slow but she's still a little smart, San. She only wants to hire someone because she's also a dance trainer. Right now she's having to close the shop early so that she can make it in time to her second job. I'm guessing that's why she hired you anyway."

"She dances?" I asked, surprised. I was expecting anyone to work in an antique store to be like Quinn; just read books and lounge about every day she has off.

"She does," Quinn nodded, resting her head in her hand as she watched the TV. "Rachel said that she gets a load of attention when they go to clubs."

My eyes widened further. Rachel went clubbing? That was something I wanted to see. "What's her name?"

Quinn looked at me with a smirk on her face. "Interested now that you know she's fun?"

I rolled my eyes at her. "No. I just probably need to know who I'm working for."

Quinn's smirk remained in place like she knew that I was telling a lie. Which she probably did. We spent far too much time together. "Brittany Pierce."

"Like Britney Spears but without the S?"

"No, she even has the S. Her middle name is Susan."

I laughed. "Brittany S. Pierce?" I laughed again. "I can't wait to make a crack at that."

Quinn slapped me around the back of the head and, if I hadn't known it was just her way of telling me I'd done something wrong, I would have punched her in her perfect plastic nose. "Don't make fun of her, San. She's sensitive and she likes everyone. If you insult her, she probably won't hire you and then I'll have to call your dad."

I smiled lightly. "Fine. Whatever you say, Mother Fabray."

She glared at me one last time before turning her full attention to the TV and I decided to as well.

* * *

"Santana!" I heard Quinn shout and I tossed a pillow over my head to block out her annoying voice. It didn't work. "Santana, get up! It's half eight."

My eyes snapped open at that and I looked up at my clock. "Shit!" I hissed, jumping out of my bed. I searched the floor for my jeans and a clean top. Once I found them, I flung them on and started to look for my college work. Once I found it all, I emptied my bag of yesterdays stuff and put all the new things in. I looked at my clock. 8:40AM.

"Fuckfuckfuckfuck!" I kept muttering to myself as I raced out of my bedroom and down the hall to where my shoes were. I quickly pulled them on and, just as I opened the door and was about to run out, Quinn called me. "What?" I growled.

She threw me a sandwich and I gave her an appreciative smile before I just about ran out of the door again. I paused for a moment and looked back. "Do you even _go_ to college anymore?" I asked her.

She shrugged and walked back into the kitchen. I noticed she was still in her pyjama's but I couldn't be bothered to ask her any more questions. I had fifteen minutes left and my music teacher had already warned me about being late.

"_If you're late once more, Miss Lopez, I will be forced to kick you off the course. It's not just classes, it's the deadline dates too."_

I swear he was trying to make my life a misery. I raced down the apartment stairs instead of taking the elevator and ran into the car lot, quickly finding my car and jumping in. I was surprised to find someone already in there.

"Fuck, Puckerman!" I cried out, in shock. "What the hell are you doing in my car?"

He shrugged with a grin on his face. "I thought you could skip college today and we could hang out. And you left your doors open again, San. It's not safe to do that in a place like this."

I glared at him. "The crooks around here would take my car if it was locked or not. Now get the fuck out! I need to go."

He looked wounded but I didn't care. I reached over him, opened his door and then shoved him out.

"Woah!" he cried as he fell to the ground. I heard him grunt and then he got to his feet. "What about tomorrow?" he shouted as I closed the door.

"Sorry, working."

I drove off before he could ask me any more questions. I wasn't in the mood for talking with anyone, least of all Puck. He could drag a conversation on for hours even if I said no. So, the only obvious solution was to kick him out of my car which may seem a little harsh but he's a big boy. He could take it.

I looked at the clock on the dashboard and saw that I had five minutes before lesson started. By driving a few miles over the speed limit, I managed to make it to the college building in time and run to my class before my teacher got there. I sat down in my place and waited for Mr Schuester to arrive.

* * *

_**Authors Note: I will be editing this chapter at some point because I'm not entirely happy with it. I just felt like I should upload something so I kinda rushed this. Anyway, yeah, I'll edit it at some point in the near future.**_


	3. Brittany, Meet Santana

By the time Mr Schue arrived, I realised that I hadn't needed to break the speed limit to get to class in time. He had walked in ten minutes late complaining about the traffic which was evidently a lie because _I_ had managed to get here on time and I was driving too. I decided not to complain though. I didn't really want to draw attention to myself. I hadn't had a shower and I was sure I stank. I swear I had forgotten to brush my teeth too. I really needed to start waking up earlier.

"Your new assignment is original songs," Mr Schue said, writing the words on the board. He then put down the pen and turned towards the class with his usual annoying smile on his face. "I want you all to come up with a new and original song. It can be on whatever subject you want it to be but you must have it completed to sing in front of the class in two weeks."

There were a few cheers from around the class and someone offered me a high five. I raised an eyebrow at him like I thought he was mad and he pulled his hand away like I'd cut him. I rolled my eyes at everyone's enthusiasm. It was just a stupid assignment. I didn't know why they were getting so excited.

"In the mean time," Mr Schue shouted over the noise and everyone paid him their attention. "We will work on our theatre project. I expect you all to audition tomorrow and you will be given your parts. If you need any help with your song choices just come and speak to me. You can practise now if you want to or you can get on with writing your songs."

The chatter started up again and I could hear people singing and laughing around me. I sat there quietly. I didn't really get on with most of these people. They were all the kind of people I would regard as dorks and loners when I was in high school but I felt kind of intimidated by them when I was sitting with them in class. They all seemed to know each other and, even though they tried to include me in on their conversations, I always felt like the loner of the class.

"Hey, Santana," a big girl said from beside me, grinning at me as she did so. "What are you gonna sing tomorrow?"

I shrugged. "I dunno, Mercy. Probably something by Amy Winehouse."

Mercedes raised an eyebrow at me. "Again? Girl, you always do her songs. Switch it up for a change."

I shrugged again. Mercedes was one of the few people in the class I would actually speak to. We did hang out a lot, not just in the class but outside of it as well. In fact, she was one of my favourite people to go out clubbing with. I just didn't like to speak inside the class because then other people might actually think that I wanted to speak to them. She seemed to get that I didn't really want to speak because she just gave me a bored glance and then turned to have a conversation with some of the guys in our class.

By the time that class was over, I decided that I would simply get Berry to write a song for me. She'd do it. She had been trying to get in my good books ever since she started dating Quinn. So, instead of telling her that hobbits didn't really have a place in my good books, I decided to use her to my full advantage. Thanks to her, my car is squeaky clean and I rarely have to pay for any meals out.

I was on my way out of class when I heard Mercedes say something that stopped me.

"Are you talking about Quinn Fabray?"

Now, normally I wouldn't be bothered by anyone talking about Quinn. She was actually quite popular in college for writing the college paper and performing in nearly all of the theatre productions that were staged. She also managed to get the highest grades and was president of the book club. So, yeah, people talked about her. A lot of them with a hint of jealousy but it never usually bothered me.

The only reason it bothered me now was because Mercedes was saying it in a defensive voice. And, since Mercedes is one of the most laid back people I know, she hardly ever gets defensive. There was also the reply to her question.

"Yeah, that bitch stole my girlfriend."

I walked back into the room to see who Mercedes was talking to. It was this weirdly huge guy who looked like, if his back wasn't as hunched up as it was, he could actually have a face-to-face conversation with the guy in the sky.

"I'm sorry, what did you just say?" I asked him and he turned his attention to me, his face trying to look angry but instead looked like he was suffering from digestive issues.

"That bitch, Quinn Fabray, stole my girlfriend," he repeated.

I chuckled humourlessly as I stepped towards him, not at all intimidated by his size. "Listen here, Frankenteen. My girl Quinn didn't _steal_ your girlfriend. If anything, I'm gonna bet my money on Rachel running the hell away from your huge ass. She was probably freaked out by the fetish you more than likely have for people half your size because, let's face it, she barely reaches your knees. Now, if I hear you spreading shit about Quinn again, I will ends you. Understand?"

He just attempted to smirk at me, which was pathetic because he just looked like a gurgling baby. And not a cute one. "What are you? Another dyke?"

I narrowed my eyes at him and took another step forwards, seeing the fear flashing through his eyes. I shoved my bag towards Mercedes and she took it hurriedly. I cracked my knuckles as I glared up at him. "You better watch your mouth, Flabbs, 'cause I'm about to go all Lima Heights on your ass. _Nadie_ insulta a mis amigos y sale con la suya!"

* * *

When I for home, Quinn was sitting on the couch and watching some weird TV programme that she always watched but I never bothered to ask her about. I think it was called Pretty Little Liars or something. She was practically drooling over two girls making out when I walked in. I could see why. It was pretty hot. I decided to snap her out of her trance.

"So, you _have_ dropped out of college?" I asked her, dumping my bag on the coffee table and flopping down beside her on the couch.

She looked at me with a bored expression, like she didn't care that I'd walked in on her nearly falling off the couch from leaning over and watching the scene. Well, that took the fun out of it.

"I didn't feel like going," she replied with a shrug of her shoulders before watching the TV again.

I glanced at her cautiously. "But you have the best attendance in the whole college. You actually _like_ college. What's going on?"

Her eyes flickered over to me for a second and then she looked back at the television screen like she was debating whether or not to tell me. Finally her eyes settled on me but they widened when she actually took in my appearance.

"Santana, what happened to your face?"

I wondered what she was on about for a second before I remembered my fight with that guy. I think his name was Finn. That's what Mr Schue was yelling out anyway when he was forcing us apart.

I shrugged. "The other guy looks worse than me."

"Why on earth would you fight with someone when Mr Schuster already threatened to kick you out?"

I looked at my hands guiltily, not really wanting to say that he had been talking about her. So I settled for an easier option. One which I hoped she would understand. "He was Rachel's ex."

Quinn's mouth formed an 'o' shape when I finally looked back at her and then, when she caught me looking, her expression changed to one just as guilty as mine. She mumbled something that I didn't quite catch.

"You're gonna have to speak a little louder Quinn," I muttered.

She gave me a frustrated glare and then started to mess with her hands, a classic sign that she was nervous. "He's actually the reason why I'm skipping."

She settled her gaze back on me and I just gave her a confused look which made her carry on.

"He came up to me on Monday and started hitting on me," she said, shrugging her shoulders like it wasn't something that bothered her when it obviously was. "I told him I was gay and then he started saying the usual stuff, like how he could straighten me out and stuff." This part actually caused me to growl but she ignored me and carried on. "I rejected him again and then he went on about how I stole Rachel from him. So, basically he was hitting on me to get back at Rachel. Anyway, he ended up threatening me about if I didn't let Rachel go, bad things would happen to me. But I love Rachel, I can't just leave her. So I skipped yesterday and I skipped today."

My jaw was tight by the time she finished telling me what had happened and she was looking at her hands because she probably thought I was going to tell her off for not going to college. I still felt that I should do that because she had a reputation to uphold and this was just some stupid boy getting ahead of himself but I also felt like I needed to console her about what had happened.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked her, my voice sounding strained. I was trying really hard not to storm out of the building and find out where that bastard lived.

"Because you'd beat the crap out of him if you knew," she said. She rolled her eyes after she said it. "But it looks like you did that anyway."

"I wasn't just gonna stand there and let him talk about you like you're a complete bitch!" I shouted, trying to defend myself.

She raised an eyebrow. "Should I take that as a complement?"

I scoffed. "I still think you're a bitch, Quinn. But I'm the only one allowed to say it. I have rights." I shrugged when I finished speaking and she gave a light chuckle. "Is that the only reason you're skipping?" I asked in all seriousness. Quinn was usually really rational and she wouldn't usually be put off by a little threat.

She paused for a moment. "Rachel started to ask about Puck."

It was my time to form the 'o' with my mouth. I knew that conversation couldn't have turned out well. But from yesterday, I gathered that maybe Quinn hadn't told Rachel everything. "You didn't tell her about-"

"No!" Quinn shouted, making my eyes widen in surprise. She gave me an apologetic glance and then looked back down at her hands. "I'm not that stupid, San. But she knows that something serious happened between Puck and I. Puck's my best friend but I love her. I don't know what to do."

"Well," I started, speaking slowly, "I don't think hiding out in our apartment, an apartment that Puck has the key to, is a good idea. And I think that you need to tell Rachel about everything that happened. You need to go back to college, Quinn. As much as I hate to say it, you not being completely perfect, bothers me a little."

She laughed at that and lifted her eyes to meet mine. I took a moment to be nice and gave her a quick hug before pulling out of it. She looked at me with wide eyes.

"Are you okay?" she asked. "Did Finn knock the bitch out of you? Should I call an ambulance?"

I rolled my eyes at her. "Don't worry," I chuckled and tapped the side of my head. "Snix is still in here somewhere."

I felt something furry brush against my neck and turned to see Tubbs sitting on the side of the couch, looking up at me with hungry eyes. "Hey, Tubby Wubby," I said in a baby voice. "Are you hungry?"

I heard a cough from behind me and looked over my shoulder at Quinn smiling smugly at me. I rolled my eyes at her. "Shut up, Fabray. It's not like you don't do the same with your pet hobbit."

Her eyes widened slightly before narrowing and she slapped my arm. "I told you not to call her that."

"Told me not to call her what? A pet or a hobbit?"

"Both," she growled.

I shrugged. "We should embrace what she is, Q. She can't exactly pass for human now, can she?"

Quinn let out a frustrated sigh and we both watched as Tubbs sauntered away into the kitchen, annoyed by out petty arguing. He'd probably wait there until I decided to feed him.

"Rachel is nothing but nice to you," my friend said in an annoyed voice. "Could you not at least make an effort to be nice back?"

"I _am_ being nice. At least I stopped calling her manhands." I thought we had reached a compromise but when I turned slightly in my seat to see her accusing eyes, I realised that maybe I wasn't quite right.

"You called her that only yesterday, Santana. When we were eating dinner."

I pulled an innocent face. "And I haven't called her it since."

"You haven't _seen_ her since! You're so-"

I held up a hand to stop her in her little rant and she did. She sat there and watched as I folded my arms, put my legs up on the coffee table and scrutinized her with a calm face.

"I think you need to calm down, Quinn," I advised. "Just breathe in and out, in and out."

She looked at me with an incredulous expression.

"Or is it too hard to do that with your fake beak?" I said, trying to keep a straight face and not laugh at the way her face got redder. I couldn't help it and soon I had doubled over on the couch as laughs burst from my lips.

"Oh, haha," Quinn said sarcastically as she stood up. "I'm going to read. I suggest you feed your cat and if you even _think_ that I am going to cook you dinner tonight, you can forget it."

I stopped laughing immediately and let out a small whimper as I watched her leave the room. When she didn't come back, I realised that she was serious and I was going to have to make myself food if I wanted to eat tonight. I quickly remembered that Quinn had thrown me some sandwiches before I left this morning and punched my fist into the air with a grin. I picked my bag up from the coffee table and looked for the sandwiches. I couldn't find them. Confusion flooded my mind before I heard Quinn's voice shout from upstairs.

"I've got your sandwiches up here, Santana! And I'm eating them!"

...

I grumbled to myself as I threw my bag to the floor, headed to the kitchen and started to make food for both myself and Tubbs.

* * *

Thursday was my free day from college which was probably why Quinn told Rachel to get me a trial for today. She had texted me earlier this morning before she went to that godforsaken place that Rachel was going to come and pick me up to show me where the antique shop was at ten o'clock. I would have refused to get into the same car as that walking fashion disaster if I didn't think that Quinn would threaten me again. Yesterday, she had given into my need for her culinary skills when I nearly set the kitchen on fire. She made me some spaghetti bolognaise. I had shared it with Tubbs.

I was ready to leave the apartment when Rachel knocked on the door. When I answered it, I wasn't surprised to see her dressed in her usual skirt and sweater. She looked me up and down with a confused look on her face.

"What?" I said in an annoyed voice and folding my arms over my chest. "You never told me what I needed to wear."

I had settled for a white blouse and some black skinny jeans since I had yet to buy any professional looking skirts or pants. And, well, I don't think wearing one of my short skirts to my trial shift would make a good first impression.

"No," Rachel said, giving me a once over again. "I'm just surprised, that's all. You look very smart, Santana."

I rolled my eyes at her and let out a small sigh of frustration. She always managed to sound so patronising. "Can we just go already? I don't want to be in your presence any longer than I have to be."

She didn't argue back and just accepted what I said, moving out of the way so that I could join her in the hallway and lock the door to the apartment. We walked down the stairs (mainly because I didn't want to be stuck in the small space of the elevator with her) and exited the building into the parking lot.

When we reached her car, I raised an eyebrow and looked over at her. "You drive this?"

She glanced at me like she expected an insult to be thrown at her. "Yes. And, whatever you're going to say, Santana, I would appreciate it if you just kept it to yourself. Some of us have feelings and what you say hurts."

I chuckled quietly. "Calm down, Berry. I was only going to say you have a nice set of wheels."

She looked surprised for a moment and then her cheeks turned red and she averted her gaze from mine. I smirked a little. I didn't know whether Quinn would be jealous about this or proud that I was making an effort. "Thank you."

We got into her convertible BMW. It was black with leather seats and an impressive looking sound system and I was surprised that Rachel owned a car like this. I wondered for a moment where she had gotten the money but then briefly remembered Quinn talking about one of her dads being a lawyer or something.

I tried to pay attention to where Rachel was driving me but, after a few minutes and getting bored quickly, I decided that I could always just type in the address in my satnav. I was thinking up a way to ask Rachel to do my assignment for me when she started to talk.

"Quinn said that you met my ex yesterday."

I nodded. "Yep. And the fact that you have dated two people who's names end in 'in' just begs for some kind of joke but you're lucky I'm feeling nice today."

Rachel laughed a little and then quiet settled over us again. "I'm sorry that he hurt you, Santana," she said quietly, breaking the silence. "Quinn told me what he said and I really didn't think he could be so cruel. I'm glad that you stuck up for her."

I looked at her briefly. "She's my best friend. I wasn't going to let him talk crap about her."

She smiled at me before focusing her attention back on the road. "Thanks anyway."

I shrugged. "It's alright, Berry."

We sat in silence again until Rachel pulled into a car lot and switched off the engine. We both got out and I followed her a few blocks down the road until we stood in front of a relatively new looking shop called 'Old Stuff'. I chuckled slightly at the name. Very imaginative.

Rachel walked into the shop and I entered behind her, noticing the bell that rung above the door as we stepped inside. There were some people in the shop which surprised me. To be honest, I hadn't expected_ anyone_ to want to come and look at antiques.

Rachel led me up to the counter and rang the bell. A blonde quickly walked up to the counter with her head bowed as she worked out something on a calculator. She wrote some numbers down on a piece of paper and then looked up, smiling at Rachel.

My breath caught in my throat as I looked at her. She turned her eyes to me and they widened slightly.

"Brittany, meet Santana Lopez."

* * *

_**Authors note: The Spanish was done on google translate because I don't have a clue about it. Anyway, it should mean '**_**Nobody_ messes with my friends and gets away with it!' I've rushed this chapter because I'm not gonna be able to update for the next couple of days. Sorry if it reads crappy._**


	4. Working

"_Brittany, meet Santana Lopez."_

We stared at each other for what felt like forever. I could have sworn I'd seen her somewhere before. She looked incredibly familiar. But, when I became aware of exactly how long I'd been staring, I felt my cheeks flush and I darted my eyes away. She seemed to do the same thing once we had lost eye contact.

Rachel was looking between the two of us with an incredulous expression on her face. I glared at her slightly and then raised my eyes back to the girl in front of me.

"Have I met you before?" I asked her, frowning as I tried hard to remember where I'd seen her.

Her eyes widened slightly like she was panicked but I must have imagined it because, the next moment, she was regarding me with an amused expression. "I don't think so," she said. And then she seemed to think about it like she wasn't really sure. "Unless you were with the aliens that kidnapped me but I don't remember much from then."

I thought she was taking the crap out of me but, when I looked at Rachel, she was shaking her head like I should just ignore it. Maybe this was what Quinn had meant when she said that Brittany was a bit slow. But I couldn't help but think it was a good feature this girl had and I found myself smiling at her.

"I don't think I remember that either," I said, shrugging my shoulders and ignoring the surprised glance Rachel threw at me.

"Anyway," Rachel said slowly, looking between the two of us like she couldn't believe her eyes. "I'm going to go now. I'll come and pick you up when you've finished your shift," she said, directing the statement at me. I watched as she left and as she kept glancing over her shoulder at the two of us like she didn't know whether me being nice was a good thing or a bad thing.

I turned back to Brittany and she surprised me by handing me a sheet of paper. "These are the times and days you'll be working," she said. "I asked Rachel when you went to college and stuff to make sure that you didn't have to be in two places at once."

I read over the schedule and smiled at the fact that it had been done in crayon. Brittany had made sure that none of my college times conflicted with when I had to be at work and she gave me enough time to actually get to work. I was surprised to see that she had given me the weekends off. "Do you not need help on weekends?" I asked her, looking up.

She shrugged her shoulders. "Not really. But if I do need anything, I'll just call you and tell you. I just thought, with you being a student and all, you wouldn't want to be working all week."

"I don't mind," I said. She just grinned at me like I was the nicest person in the world and it made my cheeks grow red as I smiled back. Quinn was right. She was a really likable girl.

"Just give me your number and I'll figure something out," she said and handed me another sheet of paper with a pen. I handed them back once I had written my number down and she put them underneath the counter. She looked back up at me and grinned. "I guess, for today, I'll just show you what you'll have to be doing."

I nodded and she gestured for me to hop over the counter. At first I thought she was joking but, a moment later, I realised that she probably wasn't. She was actually really childish which I didn't think was necessarily a bad thing. It was kind of adorable, really. So I jumped over the counter and returned her grin.

* * *

The next several hours were some of the best I had experienced without being under the influence of alcohol. I wasn't sure what it was but Brittany's bubbly personality seemed to be infectious and I found myself grinning almost constantly. Even her odd remarks like "I wonder what rainbows are made of," which normally I would have been annoyed at, made my day seem a little brighter. She was like a saint; being nice to everyone who walked into the shop no matter how rude they may have been and everybody managed to walk out with both a bag full of antiques and a smile on their face.

"So, why did you decide to open an antique store?" I asked her after another happy customer had walked out of the shop.

For the first time that day, the smile on her face seemed to dim a bit. "I don't know. I wanted to open a store because I wanted to meet new people so I used my granddad's inheritance money to buy this place. The owners left a load of antiques here and I wasn't strong enough to move it so I just decided to sell them."

I smiled lightly because, even though her reasoning for opening the store was strange, it was very Brittany-like. Once I had gone over what she said in my head again, I frowned slightly and looked at her sympathetically.

"I'm sorry about your granddad."

She shrugged her shoulders but, even though she acted like it was nothing, I could see the hurt in her eyes. "I wouldn't worry about it; it was a long time ago. And he's in a better place now anyway."

I felt the strange urge to give her a hug because of the sad smile on her face as she looked at me but I was aware that it was unprofessional and that we had only known each other for a few hours. Then again, this was Brittany and I already felt like I knew how she would react. So I gave her hug before I could think about it any longer and, after a moment's hesitation, she hugged me back.

"Oh my god."

I pulled back from Brittany quickly to see the surprised face of one Rachel Berry. I snarled at her. "Berry, your face'll stick like that if you don't change it soon." I paused for a second to think. "Actually, leave it like that. Your other face is much more annoying."

Brittany looked at me with a confused face. "Why are you being mean to Rachel?"

I turned my eyes towards her. She was still close since I hadn't pulled that far out of our hug. The closeness made me blush a little and I stepped away from her slightly to give us both some more room. I looked at her sad and confused face and then Rachel's still shocked but now slightly smug one. She seemed to be proud that Brittany was sticking up for her.

"I'm sorry, Rachel," I muttered as I looked at my feet out of embarrassment. I just didn't want to see Brittany's face look so sad. She had been grinning all day and so I was used to her being happy like that.

Berry's smug little smile turned into a dropped jaw and I smirked a little at that, about to comment on the face that she could be a great fly catcher but then I turned to Brittany and she was grinning at me for apologising so I decided not to. I smiled shyly back.

Rachel seemed to shake herself out of her daze but her eyes were still suspicious as she viewed me and Brittany. "Santana, I'm here to take you home."

I glanced over at her and then settled my eyes back on Brittany who had somehow managed to get a step closer to me without me noticing. She smiled at me, a little hesitant and then hugged me. I froze slightly and heard Rachel take in a sharp gasp, maybe waiting for me to attack Brittany and tell her she was _not_ my friend like I had told her.

But, instead, I hugged Brittany back.

"Thank you for today, San," Brittany said and I grinned at the nickname. "I'm sure you're going to be a great friend. Like rainbows and unicorns!"

I pulled back from the hug and my grin grew wider as I looked at her excited face. "I'm sure you're gonna be an awesome friend too, Britt."

We said our goodbye's with me only too aware of Rachel's jaw repeatedly hitting the floor out of shock. I waved at her as I walked out of the shop with Rachel in tow.

"You can close your huge mouth now, hobbit," I said to Rachel when we were near the car lot.

She gave me a strange look as we walked up to her car. "Whatever you're planning to do to Brittany, don't do it, Santana. She'll be really hurt."

I raised an eyebrow at her and got into the car. "I'm not gonna do anything to her. I am capable of being nice to people."

"Since when?"

"I'm nice to Quinn."

This time it was her turn to raise an eyebrow. "Only sometimes. And you've known her for years. If you hurt Brittany, I will never forgive you."

I scoffed. "Not that your opinion matters, Manhands, but I'm not going to hurt Brittany. She's actually really fun and I congratulate you for having a friend so cool. I thought you only hung out with Ladylips and Bowtie."

She shook her head, almost like she had expected me to be nice to her. "I'm not going to speak to you if all you are going to do is insult me and my friends."

"I won't complain about that."

We drove the rest of the way to my apartment in silence which unnerved me a bit because I was so used to Rachel talking. She kept giving me sideways glares and I suspected it was because she still thought that I was going to pull some kind of evil prank on Brittany.

When we got to the apartment, she got out of the car without saying a word and followed me in after locking the doors. We took the elevator and the eerie silence started to get to me.

"Rachel, I'm sorry, okay? I'm not going to do anything to Brittany, I promise. I just think she'd make an awesome friend."

She glanced over at me and gave out a defeated sigh. "Fine. But I meant what I said; if you ever hurt Brittany, I won't forgive you."

"I won't hurt her, Berry."

She shrugged her shoulders and walked out of the elevator doors. I opened the door to mine and Quinn's apartment and almost shoved Rachel back out when I saw Puck was in the kitchen. But I figured they weren't talking about anything Rachel didn't already know so I led her in.

"Hey, Puck," I said, smirking at him. "You here to see me?"

He laughed. "You wish."

I looked over his shoulder at Quinn and she nodded at me. He was.

"What do you want?" I asked him, watching from the corner of my eye as Rachel made her was around the table to be with Quinn. I needed to get Puck out of here. I could see the looks that she was sending his way and... Well, if looks could kill...

"I wanted to ask Quinn something but now that you're here I guess I'll ask you." His face turned serious for a second and I was afraid of what he was going to ask. "Since when did you get a job?"

"She hasn't got it yet," Quinn said but I ignored her.

"Rachel got me one. I started today."

He smirked. "Is that the antique place owned by the hot dancer chick? 'Cause I would-"

"Puck, I swear, if you finish that sentence I will make sure that you never fuck up a girls life again, understand?"

He looked shocked and I could see that Quinn and Rachel were too. I guess it made sense. I hardly ever defended the girls that were stupid enough to fall for Puck's non-existent charm. Brittany wasn't stupid but I was sure she would go for Puck if he tried hard enough and I thought she was too innocent to be left the morning after.

Puck nodded at me and coughed slightly to get over his shock and pretend that he didn't have fear in his eyes. "Are you finished now?"

"Yeah. I have to go back tomorrow after college and then I'm free for the whole weekend unless Britt rings me and asks for help." I saw Quinn's confused expression when I used the nickname. "You wanna go out tonight?"

Puck grinned widely, almost as excited as Brittany had been earlier but not nearly as cute. I looked over his shoulder at Quinn again and saw her mouth the words 'thank-you'. I shrugged at her and dragged Puck out of the kitchen and into the living room so that she could have her girlfriend all to herself.

"Do you have the ID's?" I asked him and he nodded.

"They're in my car. It's in the car lot so we can take that to the club instead of yours. Mine's better anyway," he finished, smirking.

I gave him a warning look and the smirk dropped from his face. I took my phone out of my pocket. "I'm gonna invite a few people."

He nodded, smiling and practically bouncing on the spot. He was such a kid.

* * *

After I had called Mike and told him to bring his girlfriend Tina with him to the club, I rang Mercedes who happily reminded me that we had to audition for the theatre production at college. I told Puck and he was all too willing to go ahead with Mike and Tina and wait for us at the club. So he gave me my fake ID and drove off. And The Douche Bag of the Year Award goes to... Noah Puckerman!

When I got to the college, it was six o'clock and Mercedes had also decided that she wasn't going to wait for me to go to the club. So I was all by myself with Mr Schue. Great...

He was just walking out of the theatre when I got there, having apparently given up on waiting for me. When he saw me though, he gave me a disappointed look, sighed and turned back around. I guess I felt a little guilty. I was late for the auditions and he obviously had somewhere else he would rather be. However, I couldn't bring myself to even give him a sympathetic glace as I made my way to the stage, facing the judging panel where he sat.

"What song have you chosen, Santana?" he asked.

"Someone Like You by Adele," I said, loud enough for him to hear. He nodded and I thought he was nodding at me but when I glanced over my shoulder, I saw that the band had stayed behind to help with my audition too. Again, the unfamiliar feeling of guilt stabbed at me. They started the music and I felt nothing but appreciation for them as I turned back to Mr Schue and started my song.

"I heard that you settled down, that you found a girl and you're married now."

I tried to put everything I had into the song. I knew that the lead role was probably for someone more like Rachel who dreamed of Broadway both at night and day but this was just as important to me. After my mum and dad had found out about me wanting to do music at college, they had done nothing but warn me of the dangers of dreaming about a career in music; how hard it would be to find a stable job and how many times I may be shot down by potential employers. However, they had promised to come and see me in the first production that the college held and, if I got the lead, I knew that they would be proud of me.

It sounded like a little girls dream and partly attention seeking but, really, who doesn't dream of making their parents proud of something they love?

When I had finished the song, Mr Schue started clapping which did nothing but annoy me. He was so patronizing sometimes.

"That was brilliant, Santana. Really fantastic. I was worried for a moment that you'd sing another Amy Winehouse song but you pulled this off amazingly. I'll speak to you tomorrow about the role but, for now, go out and enjoy yourself.

_Like I wasn't planning on doing that anyway._

"Thanks, Mr Schue," I replied, giving him a sarcastic salute as I walked out of the theatre doors. I really hated that man. Not only for his desire to treat everyone around him like they were children but also because of the intense amount of gel that he puts in his hair. This had only really come to my attention when my training coach, Sue Sylvester, pointed it out.

I practically ran to my car and I jumped in. I didn't really want to be at college any longer then I had to be. Especially not on one of my days off.

* * *

By the time I was in the club, I was painfully aware that I was still in my work clothes. Not that I couldn't pull it off, I totally could, but it wasn't really something I'd go clubbing in and I was missing my dresses already.

I found Puck, Mercedes and the two we had formally named 'the Asian couple' due to the fact that they were both Asian. If it had been anyone but Mike and Tina, we probably would have been beaten half to death with all the racist gags we made but they took it in their stride and understood we did it out of friendship.

"Hey, ladies and gays," I said as I slipped into the booth next to Puck. They nodded at me, used to the usual greeting.

Puck, however, just stared at what I was wearing and it was annoying me to no end.

"I know I'm hot, Puck, but there's only so much of your creepy leering I can take. Go stalk some other girl."

He shook his head and looked me in the eye with a raised brow. "You _are_ aware that you look like a total lez right now, aren't you?"

I laughed at him. "I would look straight in men's clothes, Puck. Which is a lot more than I can say for-"

"Hey," said a voice behind me, dragging out the greeting. I turned and saw a relatively attractive girl grinning at me with a bottle of bitter in her hand and a feathery scarf around her neck. "Do you want to dance, hottie?"

"See, I told you," Puck said.

That caught the girl's attention and she glared at him. "Did you say something?"

I watched as he withered under the girl's death glare. "No."

"Was it that thing that someone stuck to your head as a practical joke because I really didn't know that ferrets could talk? Maybe you should sell it and get yourself enough money to buy yourself some half decent clothing you-"

"Sugar, what are you doing?" asked a voice I recognised. I looked at who it was and was surprised to see Brittany standing with her hand on the girls elbow to calm her down. She was looking at her with worried eyes. Were they dating? She had just called her sugar after all. For some reason, that created a pain in my chest.

"I was just asking this chick to dance with me," she replied, her lip pouting out slightly.

"I'll dance with you," Mercedes offered, getting out from her place opposite me where she sat beside Tina. She grabbed the girls hand and pulled her to the dance floor.

Brittany watched them for a moment before she started to apologise to us. That's when she saw me and she stopped speaking all together, her eyes widening.

"Santana?"

I nodded. "Hi." It was the only thing I could think of to say and, after I said it, I couldn't help but feel anything but lame.

She looked me up and down and I saw her brows pull together to show her confusion. I wondered if I had something on my clothes. And then I realised that these were-

"Are those your work clothes?" she asked, finally meeting my eyes. Except she didn't really because I had pulled them to look at the hands I was now holding in my lap instead of the glass of beer Puck had gotten me. I tried hard to fight away the blush I felt coming on whilst thinking of something to say that would sound cool. Unfortunately, Puck spoke before I even had a chance to.

"Those are your work clothes? Shit, San, your lady customers must be drooling over you." He was trying not to laugh but I could hear it in his voice anyway. I glared at him before I looked at Brittany. She sat down in Mercedes' place, next to Tina who was too busy playing tonsil tennis with Mike to realise her friend had been replaced.

"Not just the customers," Brittany said after Puck's little comment, giving me a wink.

I raised my hand to my mouth as I coughed, trying to once again fight off a blush and to hide my embarrassment. Instead of replying to her flirting as I usually would with Tina's and Mercedes', I changed the topic. "Was that your girlfriend just now?"

Brittany looked over at the girl and then back at me, laughing. "Sugar? No, she's just a friend. She's not even gay, she just gets this way when she's a little tipsy. What made you think that?"

I shrugged, taking a sip of my drink to help hide my ever reddening face. "No reason."

"So, Brittany," Puck said, his flirt voice on at full power. "What's a girl like you doing all alone in a club like this?"

Brittany gave him this confused face and I just raised an eyebrow at him. "I'm not alone," she said slowly, like he was a small child who didn't quite understand something. "I'm with Sugar and a couple of my other friends. I just wanted to talk to Santana," she finished, switching her attention back to me. I felt my lips curve upwards slightly with a feeling of triumph because I'd won her attention over Puck. He looked like he'd been totally shot down.

"Other friends?" I asked her. "Are you sure they won't mind you speaking to us?"

She shrugged and gave me a flirty smile which, I found, was a lot better than any of the pervy smiles Puck had ever given me. "When I tell them I was speaking to a beautiful girl, I think they'll understand."

I felt myself blush again but narrowed my eyes as Puck leant over the table, taking Brittany's attention again. "So you're gay?"

Brittany took her eyes off me and narrowed them slightly at Puck, realising that he probably wasn't going to back down any time soon. "No, I'm bisexual. Like a unicorn. But with two horns."

That seemed to throw Puck off his game for a minute but I just smiled at her endearing way of putting it. I took another sip of my drink and realised it was nearly finished. How had that happened? I must have just drunk a load to hide my embarrassment from Brittany.

"And you like Santana?" Puck further questioned and I felt myself freeze at this.

"I like her as a friend and she's hot," Brittany said, her eyes dancing over me. "So, yeah, I guess."

I could vividly see what was going through Puck's head right now and it made me flush red. "Hey, San?" he said, looking at me with sparkling eyes. "Fancy a threesome?"

I hit him over the head, ignoring the fact that my face probably looked like it was on fire right now, and scowled at him. "Stop being a disgusting pig, you douche. You know I'd never even consider sleeping with you and I'm as straight as rulers so get that thought out of your fucking perverted little head."

He rubbed the back of his head and his lips formed a pout but I ignored him as I drank the last of my beer. Brittany seemed to notice and she stood up, pulling me to my feet too.

"Let's go get some drinks," she said, grinning down at me. She turned back to the table with the same grin on her face and waved. "It was nice meeting you guys. See you later." Puck gave her a little waved, still dazed that she had gotten to her feet so quickly which meant he had no chance now and Tina and Mike kept up their Asian make-out session.

Brittany dragged me to the bar and ordered some shots for the two of us. "Do you like tequila?" she asked me.

"Love it," I grinned at her and she mirrored my expression as the bartender came back with a bottle of the stuff and two small shot glasses. She poured us both a shot and chucked hers back quickly, grimacing slightly as she swallowed. I did the same and felt my throat burn as the alcohol slipped down it.

Brittany poured us more and nursed hers in her hands for a minute before looking up at me. "Would it be horrible of me to ask you a favour?"

I smiled. "As long as it isn't that threesome Puck mentioned, I think it'll be fine."

She giggled at that and I couldn't help but find it adorable. The thought made me blush but I was pretty sure that I could pass it off as the alcohol taking its effect.

"No, I was just wondering if you could work Saturday instead of tomorrow," she asked, looking guiltily down at her glass. "I'll be there but I need to do a stock count and a load of paperwork so I won't really have time to deal with the customers."

"That's fine," I shrugged. "I don't really do much at the weekend anyway so I'd be happy to help you out."

That seemed to make her happy and she grinned back up at me, somehow making the dark club seem a lot lighter. We both chucked back out shots as well as many others until the bottle of tequila was finished.

The last thing I remember was Brittany ordering another bottle, some slices of lime and asking me if I had ever done body shots.

* * *

Puck had driven me back to the apartment once he had managed to pull me away from Brittany. We had been pretty inseparable all night once I had found that she was a lot of fun. It was now twelve o'clock and I had sobered up considerably after walking out of the club and into a downpour of rain.

I got into the elevator, aware that climbing the stairs would be too much of a bother in my drunken state and attempted to press the button for the fourth floor. After pressing the three before it, I finally succeeded.

At suffered the long journey to the top floor of the apartment block, I miserably thought over how I had to get up in the morning to get to college and that I now had to wait until Saturday to see Brittany again. Earlier, being dragged away from her in the club, I had cried about it. The same happened in that elevator as it dinged when it reached the fourth floor.

I stumbled down the corridor towards mine and Quinn's apartment door and, when I got there, had an effort getting the key into the lock. Eventually I gave up and, not caring for Quinn's and possibly Rachel's much needed beauty sleep, I hammered on the door.

It opened but what I found inside wasn't the happy but tired couple I expected.

It was just Quinn.

And her eyes were all red and puffy like she'd been crying.

I pulled her into a tight hug and walked her inside, shutting the door behind me with my foot. Her arms wrapped themselves around me and she started to sob into my shoulder. I was sober now or, at least, a lot more sober than I had been a few minutes ago. I rubbed my hand up and down on Quinn's back and hummed in her ear, hoping that was enough because I didn't really know what was going on so couldn't offer her any words of encouragement.

"She left me," she sobbed, her arms tightening around me. "Rachel left me."

I felt myself frown. I knew why Rachel had left her but I still had to ask. I had to be sure that I was going to beat her up about the right thing when I found her tomorrow morning.

"Why?"

Quinn stiffened in my arms and pulled back a bit, averting her gaze from me by looking at the floor instead. I don't know why. She had nothing to be ashamed of. It was Rachel who ought to feel ashamed, making her feel like this.

"I told her about Beth," my friend whispered, her voice broken and shaking.

It was a few moments later when she broke down into tears again and embraced me tightly. I was right. Rachel should be ashamed. Quinn hadn't meant to make that one horrible mistake but now she was being blamed for it. Rachel had no right. But I knew that I could say none of this to Quinn because she wouldn't take it; she'd defend Rachel.

"Let's go to bed," I whispered to her and I felt her nod on my shoulder but she made no attempt to move. So I picked her up, trying hard to ignore my slightly tipsy balance, and carried her through the lounge and to her room upstairs. I put her in her bed and turned, making my way to the door.

"Santana?" I turned at the sound of her weak voice. "Can you stay with me?"

It was rare these kind of things happened; me and Quinn sharing a moment of what some might call intimacy. When we were so emotional that we asked the other for something we would normally be too proud to ask. But, if one of us did ask for that certain something, if we did let our walls down and ask for that one thing we would never ask of anyone else, the other would give it.

And so, I slid into Quinn's bed and wrapped my arms around her shaking frame.

Because, in the end, that's what sister's are supposed to do.

* * *

_**Author's Note: I feel like I probably could have done a lot better with this chapter but I was working on it with a hangover which probably wasn't the greatest idea. I'll try and edit it at some point in the future.**_


	5. The Prefect Couple

I woke up to the sound of sniffling. I didn't want to open my eyes and see the usually together Quinn falling apart but I knew that I had no choice. I couldn't just lie in her bed all day. And, with that realisation, came the realisation that I had a splitting headache and that I wasn't in my room where my alarm was.

I sat up quickly and tried to adjust my eyes to Quinn's dark room as I looked around for a clock. I found it and saw that it was only seven o'clock. "Thank fuck," I muttered to myself as I collapsed back onto the bed. That just made my head hurt even more.

Quinn had ignored my little panic attack and was still crying to herself. She had her back to me and I wasn't really sure what to do.

"Quinn, I need to get ready for college," I whispered, afraid of scaring her if I talked any louder. "Do you want anything?"

She shook her head at me and then started sobbing. I shot a sympathetic glance at the back of her head as I heard Rachel's name fall from her lips over and over. I got out of the bed after giving her shoulder a comforting squeeze and walked to my room. I realised I was still in my work clothes and felt disgusted that I hadn't felt the need to change last night.

I quickly found some new clothes consisting of short shorts and a band shirt and then I made my way to the bathroom. I searched the cupboard above the sink for some aspirin and, when I found some, took two tablets.

After my shower and getting changed, I walked back into Quinn's room. She hadn't moved at all since I left her.

"Quinn, do you want me to make you some breakfast?" I saw her shake her head and creased my brow into a frown. "Well, I'm making pancakes for me and Tubbs. If you want some, I can bring you some up...?"

She heard the question and made the effort to sit up and face me. I almost hugged her again when I saw her face. It was all puffy and red. I wondered for a moment if she had actually gotten any sleep last night.

"Thanks, San," she croaked. Her voice made me wince. "But maybe I should make the pancakes. You might burn down the apartment."

I chuckled at her attempt of lightening the situation. "Do you want to?"

She shrugged lightly and weakly smiled. "Well, I'd rather make pancakes than be homeless."

I agreed because I was pleased to see her happy again. By the time that I got downstairs after drying my hair and putting on my makeup, Quinn had made the pancakes and Tubbs was already tucking into his.

Quinn was sitting at the table and stabbing her fork into the pancake without actually eating it. I sat next t her, where my plate was and started to eat.

"Wow, Quinn," I said, gulping down the food. "This is delicious."

She gave me a smile but I could see it was forced. She just looked down at the pancake with those sad red eyes and it made my heart break a little inside. I made my decision quickly. Rachel was going to pay for this.

* * *

"Oi, you!" I shouted, running up to that little freak and spinning her around. "What the fuck did you do to Quinn? I knew you were selfish, Rachel, but this exceeds your usual self obsessive ridiculous personality. Do you care about Quinn at all or was she just some stupid fucking experiment on the road to stardom?"

Her eyes were filled with tears as she glared at me. "Shut up, Santana," she said quietly.

"No!" I shouted at her, gaining a few stares from the people in the street around us. "You are not allowed to make Quinn feel like shit, she's been put through enough of that already. You need to go back to the apartment and apologise right now before I crush your pathetic little life."

She stepped up to me and I found it strangely intimidating. I stood my ground though when she hardened her eyes. "Do you even know what's going on?" she hissed. "This isn't just about Quinn. This involves a lot more people than just her, Santana."

"I know she told you that Puck got her pregnant," I said back but keeping my voice quiet, aware that people were still staring as they walked past. "I know she told you that she gave Beth up for adoption."

Rachel laughed but it was cold and sarcastic. "And do you know who adopted Beth?"

"Some woman," I said, a confused expression on my face. I didn't understand what that had to do with anything. "I dunno. She taught at our school for a while."

"That _woman_," Rachel spat, stepping closer to me, "is my _mother._ I'm not trying to make Quinn feel horrible but I need time to think about this. It's not exactly something I can just accept."

I blinked slowly. Well, I hadn't been expecting that.

"Rachel, is she bothering you?"

I looked over my shoulder to see who had spoken and saw a giant prick. From the look on Rachel's face, I could see that I wasn't the only one who wished he would just disappear.

"No, she was just leaving," she told him, glaring at me but I ignored the indication that I should go and turned to Finn.

"If it isn't my hating homophobic giant," I smirked, picking out the purple bruises on his skin, the black eye and the broken nose. "I almost missed beating up your ugly face, jackass."

He narrowed his eyes at me and attempted a smirk. "What? You upset that Rachel decided she likes dicks?"

I grimaced in disgust. "Well, since you don't have one, I guess all of your chances just hopped out of the window."

Rachel stepped between the two of us when she saw his hands ball into fists. "Can we stop with the arguing? Both of you, just go to college. I am fed up of dealing with children. You both need to grow up! And, Finn," she said, turning fully to him, "just because I broke up with Quinn doesn't mean I'm not gay. Get over it and move on."

She then glared at both of us and stormed off. I watched her go, shocked from her shouting at the two of us. I got over it quickly though because I realised that I was going to be late for college. I sent Finn a smirk of triumph because he looked totally shot down by Rachel's little remark and then ran towards the college which was only a few minutes away. I had had to park my car in the car lot of a restaurant when I realised there was no space at college. I guess Finn had done the same.

I got to the college with a few minutes to spare and was glad that I had woken up earlier than usual, despite my banging headache, because Mr Schue wasn't late this time.

I walked into class and sat in my usual seat next to Mercedes. She just smirked at me with a knowing look on her face.

"What?" I asked, confused.

She chuckled a little and raised an eyebrow. "Do you even remember last night?"

I frowned. There were a lot of gaps but I briefly remembered dancing with Brittany before being dragged out of the club in tears by Puck. "Not really. Why? What did I do?"

Mercedes' smirk just grew and she turned back to the front of the class. I grew worried. Had I done something really bad? I tried my best to remember the night before but all I could think of was Quinn crying. Wait, no, I think I had done body shots with someone. But that wasn't that bad. I'd done them before with Tina so that couldn't have been what Mercedes was talking about.

I narrowed my eyes at her, missing Finn's entrance into the room. "What happened?" I growled.

She settled her eyes back on me, obviously not impressed by my attempt to threaten her with my voice. "Do you really want to know?"

I paused. Did I? Maybe it was best if I didn't because I could get really out of hand sometimes when I was drunk. Then again, I didn't want to go to work tomorrow and have Brittany giving me weird looks for something I couldn't even remember doing. "Yes."

She smiled in a way that seemed to be mocking me. "Well, Brittany started by doing a strip tease on our table-"

"That's Brittany-"

"And you started making out with her," she said, laughing. "Like, right there on the table. You both gave Puck one hell of a show."

I felt my face grow red and I coughed weakly into my hand. "Everyone does strange stuff when they're drunk," I shrugged, trying to brush it off.

Mercedes laughed again. "We had to rip you both apart. Seriously. Talk about dry-"

I slapped her arm. "Shut up! Stop talking. Right now."

She just gave me a smug smile, her original intent to make me embarrassed completed, and turned to the front of the class where Mr Schue now stood with a list of the roles people were going to play.

I couldn't even listen to him as I tried hard to remember last night. I could remember Brittany taking off her shirt and me doing a shot off her. And I did maybe remember pushing her down against the table and... I felt my face go red and I buried my head in my hands. I heard Mercedes chuckling softly beside me.

"Santana Lopez," Mr Schue said but I couldn't bring myself to look anyone in the eye right now so I kept my head in my hands. "You'll be playing Belle."

I frowned, trying to remember what play we were doing and if I had a good part as Mr Schue carried on with the list.

"Finn Hudson, the beast."

My eyes widened as I realised what we were doing. I was going to have to play the female role alongside Finn in Beauty and the Beast. Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuck! I felt my life slowly fading away as my whole body became numb. By the time we were actually ready to do this musical in front of an audience, I was going to kill Finn.

* * *

We made our way to the theatre, following Mr Schue. Mercedes was beside me speaking to some guy who was in our class and kept making ridiculous impersonations of people I barely knew. Most of them were from Avatar and, although I was sure Mercedes had never even watched Avatar, she laughed along with him.

I focused my gaze of the back of Finn's head with my eyes narrowed considerably, hoping that somehow I could burn a hole through his small head. I was seriously regretting wanting this role.

We entered the theatre and everyone took a seat as Mr Schue stood on stage. "Now, it's come to my attention that you all may be amazing musicians but some of you will probably need some help in the dancing department," he said and then he gestured a hand to the wings of the stage, waiting for someone to come out. When she did, my jaw drop and Mercedes was shaking beside me, trying to keep her laughter quiet. "Miss Brittany Pierce is going to help you all with your dancing skills so when the time comes to perform the musical, you will all be brilliant dancers."

He looked quite proud of himself, standing on the stage with Brittany beside him. The class however were quiet. Until some idiot decided to make a joke.

"So, you're Britney Spears?"

I don't know who had said it but the hurt look on Brittany's face made me want to beat the crap out of them. I knew it wasn't Finn because I had been glaring at him as he ran his eyes over Brittany's body which was covered in black leather pants and a tank top.

Mr Schue made it easier to seek the little bastard who insulted Brittany. "Jesse, Brittany is here to help us. If you can't respect her, you won't partake in the musical."

I saw who he was looking at; some posh kid in a cravat. I made sure to remember his face so that I could confront him later.

I looked back to the stage as Brittany stepped forward. "I'll be working with each of those with the main roles one-on-one." There were some wolf whistles at that which Brittany took in her stride but I glowered at. "And I'll work with the rest of you as a group. Hopefully you'll all be ready in time."

There was an applause for her and, while the room was loud enough for no one to hear her, Mercedes leant over and whispered in my ear.

"One-on-one time with Brittany." She burst out laughing when my face turned red and the guy beside her, I think his name was Sam, looked at her confusedly. She just waved a hand at him to ignore it.

I glared at her but, when I turned to the stage and saw Brittany grinning and waving at me, I couldn't help but smile back.

She carried on talking to the class once the applause had calmed down. "How many of you have a main role?" she asked and I raised my hand along with five other people. When she saw that my hand was raised she smirked at me and I couldn't help but feel my face redden. I noticed Finn had looked over and was glaring at me so I glared right back at him, feeling a small ounce of triumph when he was the one to turn away first.

Brittany carried on speaking. "Well, since so many of you have a main role and you only have a few hours a week to practise, I think I might have to overflow into your free time." A few people groaned at that and I noticed her smile slightly. "If anyone's against it, I can just teach you in the lessons but some people will need to be taught outside of that time. I'll sort it all out with Mr Schue later on.

"For now, though, I guess I'll just talk to you all and see how well you can dance...?" She had ended it as a question and looked over her shoulder at Mr Schue for his permission. He just nodded and stepped forward.

"Can all of you who have a main role come to the stage?" he said loud enough for us all to hear. "The rest of you can work on your original songs."

Mercedes gave me a glance with that knowing look in her eyes and it made me blush. This was going to be one hell of a long lesson.

I made my way down the steps to the stage of the theatre and sat down next to Brittany. She grinned at me and I smiled back with my cheeks still red.

"I already know how well you dance," she said, wiggling her eyebrows.

I remembered that last night we had danced a lot and I smirked at her. "Oh yeah? How well?"

She rested her elbow on her knee and her chin in her hand as she leaned forward to get a better look at my face. "Very well," she murmured in a flirty voice.

I was about to make a reply but the whole group had gathered round and Mr Schue started talking. Brittany soon joined him and started questioning all of us but I noticed when her eyes lingered on me a little longer than they should have done. I also noticed the glares Finn constantly sent my way but found myself able to ignore them when my eyes met blue.

* * *

"I didn't know you did music," Brittany said, walking beside me as we exited college. I was surprised that she had waited for me as I went to my other classes but she told me she had to go over her work schedule with Mr Schue anyway so she might as well have.

I was surprised that Berry hadn't told her but, instead of saying that, I just shrugged. I didn't want to speak about the hobbit right now.

Brittany gave me a concerned look at my quiet reply. "Are you okay, San? Is this about yesterday? If it is, I'm really sorry. I was drunk and stupid-"

"You're not stupid," I said quickly and then blushed after finally understanding what she was talking about. "But I'm sorry too. Can we just forget about it and be friends?"

Her eyes looked a little sad at that but she nodded anyway and gave me a small smile. I remembered what she had said to Puck last night, about her liking me but I quickly pushed the thought out of my mind.

I realised we had stopped walking and I looked around for Brittany's car but all I saw was a motorbike. Wait. "You don't ride this do you?" I asked her, pointing at it like it was the devil.

She nodded with a grin on her face and I felt stupid for not noticing the helmet she had tucked under her arm. I now also saw that she had a biker's jacket on. "I used to practise for motocross and I loved it. Do you want a go?"

I gave the bike a cautious look and shook my head at her. "As much as I would love to ride on that death machine, I should get back home. I'll see you at work tomorrow."

She seemed a little disappointed that I didn't want to join her but grinned when I reminded her that we were working together tomorrow. I couldn't help but smile at the bright look on her face. "Yeah, I'll see you then."

I waited as she pulled on her helmet on got on her bike. Then she gave me a small wave as she rode away. I waved back and walked towards the restaurant where my car was parked.

* * *

"Quinn?" I shouted as I walked in through the door. "Quinn, are you home?"

I walked into the kitchen to see if she was there and found a note on the table. 'Went shopping. Stop feeding Tubbs my food!' I laughed and put the note on the side as I looked in the fridge. There was barely anything in there. I groaned. I was hungry and I hadn't eaten anything since this morning. Tubbs seemed to think the same thing as he let out a whining noise.

I closed the fridge and picked him up. "Looks like we're gonna have to wait until Quinn gets back, Tubbs," I muttered to him, carrying him through the lounge and up the stairs. I set him down on my bed where he curled up as I fetched my laptop.

Once I had all my usual pages opened, I saw that Brittany had tried to add me on Facebook. I laughed at her profile picture of her having her tongue out as she crossed her eyes and accepted her friend request. I paused for a moment, wondering if I should post something on her wall when I saw that she had thousands of pictures uploaded.

I looked at Tubbs and he stared straight back at me. Those eyes he was giving me seemed to be disappointed. I spat my tongue out at him. "I'm only going to look at a few," I said, trying to convince both him and myself that there was nothing wrong with what I was doing as I clicked the button to view her photo album.

"Santana, I'm back!" I heard Quinn shout from downstairs and the door closed. I slammed down the screen of my laptop, suddenly aware that maybe I wasn't close enough to Brittany to go looking through her photos.

I jumped off my bed and looked back at Tubbs for a moment. He was still giving me those eyes so I waved a threatening finger at him. "Not a word of this to anyone." He blinked slowly like he understood and I walked out of my room and to the kitchen where Quinn was putting away bags of shopping.

She looked happier than she had this morning but I had a feeling that it was because she had finally been able to put a mask over her sadness. It's something we both did when we hurt and it meant that we didn't want anyone to speak about it so I let the subject rest as I helped to put away cans of soup and... cat food?

"Quinn, I'm not going to feed Tubbs this crap," I muttered, lifting the can for her to see.

She glared at me. "Yes, you are. It is unhealthy to give a cat the amount of junk you give him."

I crossed my arms defensively. "He likes it."

"He's going to end up with some kind of cat diabetes or having a heart attack, Santana!"

That made my face fall. The thought of something being wrong with Tubbs was by far the worst thought I had ever had. After all, he had been my best friend for seven years, ever since that day when I went out and played hide and seek with Quinn and Puck. That had also been the day when I saw-

Hang on a minute.

My eyes widened as I realised where I had seen Brittany before. She had been in Lima Heights all those years ago. I made a mental note to ask her about that tomorrow and focused my shocked eyes back on Quinn who suddenly looked guilty that she had mentioned Tubbs might die.

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Never speak about Tubbs like that again. I'll put him on a diet if you want but he is not eating crappy cat food."

"It costs-"

"I don't care," I said, interrupting her. "I will feed him stuff he likes. I know how to look after my own cat."

She turned away from me guiltily and carried on filling the fridge with food. "Fine. But I'm making dinner tonight."

I smirked, storing the cans again but pushing all the cat food to the side. "You always do," I told her. "What are we having?"

"Salad." And with that said, she finished her job and walked out of the kitchen so she didn't have to listen to me arguing against her choice of food.

* * *

I decided that I would approach the question subtly the next day without just blurting it out to her and asked Brittany is she had ever been to Ohio.

"Nope," she said, surprising me as I took a bite of my sandwich. It was one o'clock and we had decided to close the shop while we took a break. "I hear it's nice there though."

"Yeah, it is," I murmured, still trying to overcome my shock. I could have sworn that she was the girl from seven years ago. "Where did you grow up then?"

She paused from a moment to take a drink. "In California. My parents were Dutch though."

"Yeah?"

She hummed in confirmation. "I never really spoke to them much. My granddad was the only one who ever bothered to speak to me. Everyone else just thought I spoke nonsense all the time."

I glanced at her sympathetically. "I never spoke to my parents either," I shrugged and took another bite of my lunch. "They were too busy all the time. My abuela-"

"Abuela?"

"My grandma," I informed her. "She was the only one who really looked out for me. She practically raised me while my mum was off trying to find her big break and my dad was in hospital."

"Your dad was in hospital?" Brittany asked, a concerned look in her eyes which made me laugh slightly.

"He works there," I explained when her eyes widened in surprise at my laugh.

There was a knock on the shop door that interrupted our conversation and Brittany went to answer it as I finished off my lunch. I heard her laugh and instantly felt jealous of whoever she was talking to. When I finished my lunch I went to go and see who it was and froze when I did.

He looked at me and his eyes narrowed.

"Brittany, what is _she_ doing here?"

Brittany looked between the two of us with a surprised expression on her face. "You two know each other?"

"You taught our class the other day, Britt," he said rolling his eyes at her like she was stupid which made my fists tighten. "Of course we know each other."

She looked a little embarrassed which made me hate Finn even more than I already did.

"What are you doing here, you homophobic prick?" I growled at him.

He smirked at me. "I was actually here to ask Brittany if she'd like to go on a date." He looked at Brittany with the smirk still planted on his face, waiting for an answer.

She seemed to look a little nervous and looked to me for support. I didn't really know what I could do to help her and so just waited for her answer as eagerly as Finn.

She turned towards Finn but kept her eyes turned down. "Erm... Well, you're really nice, Finn but you're one of my friends and I want us to stay just friends. And you're too tall. And you're Rachel's ex and, even though she was the one that left you and she doesn't like guys anymore, she's still my friends and I'd feel like I was betraying her. And, well, the thing is," she lowered her voice to a hushed whisper, "you kinda look like a baby."

I had to hide my mouth behind my hand as each thing that Brittany said insulted Finn unintentionally and I wanted to laugh so badly at the defeated look on his face.

"How many times have you been shot down this week, Finn?" I called out to him as he left the shop without saying a word. "Maybe you should ask someone who has a bigger ass than your ego."

He glared at me through the shop window and then disappeared from my sight. I chuckled but stopped when I turned back to Brittany and she was glaring at me.

"Are you that mean to everyone?" she asked, her tone sounding like a mother scolding her child.

I felt my cheeks redden because she made me feel disappointed in myself. "I'm sorry, Britt-Britt," I mumbled and her glare on me softened at the nickname.

"Just don't do it again."

And then I really did feel like a child but I smiled regardless as we went back to work.

* * *

Quinn was crying again when I got home. And, apart from making her a failed attempt of hot chocolate and cuddling her, I wasn't really sure what I was supposed to do. It was obvious that Rachel still hadn't spoken to her and I was surprised at that. I had convinced myself that Rachel loved Quinn as much as it was the other way round.

"It's okay, Quinn," I hushed, rocking her in my arms as she sobbed. "It's okay."

She sobbed out Rachel's name for the hundredth time and I decided that maybe it was time I pay the dwarf another visit. But Quinn needed me here so I decided that killing the midget could wait a little while longer.

Once she had fallen asleep on my shoulder, I laid her down on the couch where we were sitting and pulled a blanket over her. I stroked her cheek gently, watching her as she slept. Even when asleep, she looked restless. I sighed quietly and pulled the blanket a little higher to keep her warm. Then I stood up.

I was going to sort out this fucking mess once and for all.

* * *

I had been to Rachel's apartment maybe two times before. One time was for a dinner party and the other time was also a dinner party. The difference between the two is that, at the first I had to drink six glasses of wine to find what Rachel was saying even slightly entertaining. The second time, I had just slept through the whole night in her spare room. Rachel had thought it was rude of me until I reminded her of the first dinner party where the evening had ended with me heaving over her carpet.

Luckily, I remembered where it was and, as I drove there, I tried to figure out what I was going to say to her. When I pulled into the parking lot, I still didn't have a clue how I was going to convince her that she should go back to Quinn.

I had climbed the stairs to the second floor of the nice looking apartment block and I knocked on her door, standing out of the way of the peep hole so she didn't know it was me. When she opened the door to see who was there, I pushed her back into the apartment and closed the door behind me. She had decided to overdramatize the push and was now lying on the floor and looking up at me with scared eyes. I rolled mine.

"Get up, manhands," I muttered. "I'm not here to go all Lima Heights, as much as I would like to. I just wanna talk."

She gave me narrowed her eyes at me, showing that she wasn't convinced. I ignored her and made my way to her lounge. I sat down on her couch and made myself at home. I saw a glass of wine and a box of tissues on her coffee table and, when I looked up, noticed one of those sad romantic films playing on the telly. She walked in and sat beside me and it was clear that she had been taking the breakup just as hard as Quinn.

"Rachel," I said and she looked up at me, seemingly grateful that I had used her actual name. "You need to get back with Quinn. You're both acting like it's the end of the fucking world."

She shook her head and grabbed a tissue to dab her eyes with. "Don't you get that it's weird, Santana?" she whispered, her voice raspy and breaking. "Her daughter is my little sister. It's just... I don't understand how me being in a relationship with her can be okay."

I almost reached out and rubbed her back sympathetically as her eyes flooded with tears. Almost. But we weren't quite at those heights of friendship yet. "Listen, Rachel, you and Quinn are made for each other and as much as you piss me off, I want to see _both_ of you happy. It's not normal to see you and Quinn all teary and stuff. If it feels like the right thing to do, it doesn't matter if anybody else thinks it's not okay."

"But it's _me_ who thinks it's not okay," she stressed.

"Why don't you think it's okay?"

"Because her _daughter_ is my _little_ _sister_!" she repeated, trying to shout it at me but all it sounded like was her being strangled which would have made me laugh had the situation been different.

"Rachel, get the fuck round to our apartment and stop being such a drama queen," I growled. "I am trying to be nice but you're really starting to piss me off."

She looked at me with wide eyes and I forced myself to calm down.

"Do you love Quinn?"

"Yes."

"And I know for a fact that Quinn loves you. So you two are going to sort things out, _aren't you_?" I growled the last few words at her in an attempt to threaten her but she already looked like she'd made up her mind as she took a deep breath to calm herself down and stood to put on her coat.

* * *

"Quinn-" Rachel started as she walked into the lounge but she didn't get a chance to finish as Quinn squeezed her in a tight hug, only pulling back to kiss her all over her face.

"I missed you, I missed you," she said over and over again.

I was almost sick at the sweet reunion in front of me and I almost told them that it had only been two days and they should get the fuck over themselves. Instead, I went to my room, got changed and flopped down onto my bed, exhausted.

Being nice is tiring.

* * *

_**Author's Note: The ending is different from something I originally had in mind but I think that everyone likes it better when there's a little Faberry on the side (including me) so I changed it. I hope it was worth it :)**_


	6. Secrets

_My feet walked up to the dark figure that still refused to lift their head. I wasn't sure why I walked up to them but they just looked so intriguing and I couldn't stop myself. I put a hand on their shoulder._

"_Are you okay?" I heard myself ask. The figure glanced up and I gasped. "Brittany?"_

_She narrowed her eyes at me and then walked away. I tried to follow her but my feet wouldn't work. I looked down at them, they were sinking into the ground. I frantically looked around me and saw I was back in Lima. I sank further and further, watching Brittany retreat before screaming for her help._

"Brittany!" I sat up in my bed, searching the space around me. I was in my room. That was good. I buried my head in my hands, still feeling like I was sinking.

The dream had only reminded me that it was definitely Brittany I saw seven years ago in Lima. Why had she felt the need to lie about it? I mean, sure, Lima's a complete dump but that wasn't any reason to lie. And she knew that I came from there too so there was really nothing to be embarrassed about. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. I wasn't going to see her until Tuesday now so I couldn't exactly ask her.

The laptop caught my eye.

It wouldn't be that bad, would it? To look her up? I mean, I was only trying to prove what I already thought to be true and, if I found out that she did actually grow up in California, she had told me that so I wasn't really gaining any new information.

I felt guilty already as I picked up the laptop. I should have just trusted what Brittany said but, when I typed in her name millions of pages came up. I didn't even need to open one. I saw one of the summaries 'Brittany Susan Pierce grew up in Ohio with her parents..." Then I closed the page, feeling ill about finding out anything else.

She had lied. Sure, her growing up in Ohio didn't prove that she'd been to Lima but it _did_ prove that she hadn't grown up in California. She said that she'd never even been to Ohio. I shook my head to try and figure it out but all I had was a nagging feeling that she was ashamed of where she came from. Or maybe it was more than that.

I gave a frustrated sigh. This wasn't my business. I shouldn't have looked up details about Brittany on the internet. It was wrong and creepy. I tried to persuade myself that I didn't now feel like a stalker as I got changed into some jogging shorts and a tank top. I needed to go for a run; if not to clear my head, then to just get some exercise. If we were dancing for the musical and if Brittany was teaching us, I needed to look my best. I needed to look just as much like Belle as Finn did the Beast.

* * *

When I got back to the apartment, Quinn and Rachel were lying on the sofa together and watching some weird wedding TV show.

"Don't go getting any stupid ideas," I called to them as I walked into the kitchen. There were some pancakes on the side and I smiled, picking them up. I walked back into the lounge and gave Quinn a grateful smile before sitting down on one of the chairs.

"I fed Tubbs some normal cat food," she said, looking over at me.

"You did what?" I growled.

She shrugged. "He seemed to like it just fine, Santana." She sounded like she was scolding me and I looked away from her. She seemed to have worked out that I had never actually given cat food to Tubbs. "And it's healthier for him. I know you think he's like your baby or something but he gets the nutrition he needs from food that was made for cats, not humans."

I grumbled something about her being a smart arse and then tucked into my pancakes. "What are you two doing today?"

"Just staying here," Quinn said and Rachel smiled, snuggling up to her. It almost made me gag but, as I looked at the two, I thought that maybe I should give them some privacy. It wasn't like I wanted to watch them being all loved up and crap so I quickly finished my pancakes and got to my feet.

"Where are you going?" Rachel asked.

I shot her a look. "Who said I was going anywhere?"

Quinn raised an eyebrow at me. "San, where are you going?"

I gave in and sighed, putting my plate down on the coffee table. "I think I'm gonna go round Puck's place. I haven't been in a while."

She nodded and watched the TV again. "Can you tell Puck that next time he visits, he needs to replace all the food he ate on Thursday?"

I smirked. "Sure thing. Anything to make his life miserable."

"And take your plate into the kitchen!" she shouted at me as I neared the apartment door. I pretended not to hear and slipped out before she could catch me.

* * *

I walked straight into Puck's apartment. Since he had a key to ours, I had said it was only fair that we had a key to his apartment too and he had reluctantly agreed and handed it over. Unfortunately, this now led me to a disgusting sight. That sight being Puck in his lounge with his shirt off and a giant oaf attempting to swallow his tongue.

"What. The. Fuck?"

Puck quickly pulled away from Finn and looked at me with wide eyes. "Santana, I-"

"Hang on a minute," I growled, lifting up my hand. "Since when did you like guys? And what the fuck are you doing with that homophobic motherfucking dick." I glared at Finn and then turned back to Puck. His face was red and he was looking at the floor.

"It's just an experiment," he muttered. "Finn was helping me out."

"Well, this _is_ a turn of events," I sneered with my hands on my hips. "Maybe I should start addressing you both as 'Fuck' or 'Pinn' or even 'Fuckerman' because now everyone is gonna know that that's the kinda weird stuff you're into. Not that I think it's a bad thing, I just find it a little hypocritical that you, Finn, are criticising Quinn and Rachel for being out of the closet when you're too scared to touch the handle. But I'm gonna go ahead and accept that part of you that is like a scared little girl just dying to get the fuck out."

He looked like he was about to say something but I just help my hand up. "I don't want to hear anything that comes out of your mouth, Frankenteen. Or yours, Puck," I added as Puck opened his mouth. "I'm gonna go now but don't worry, gays, I'll make sure that everyone hears about your little secret."

With that, I walked out of the door and ran down the apartment stairs before Puck could catch me.

I wasn't going to tell everybody, of course. I wouldn't do that to Puck. He'd been my best friend for the last ten years of my life and, after Quinn, was the person I trusted the most with my life. But Finn... Finn's a different story. I could probably use this as blackmail and get him to drop out of the musical so I wouldn't have to stand next to him on a stage with hundreds of people watching as I pretend I'm in love with him. Hell, fucking, no.

I smirked as I got into my car. This day was actually turning out rather well.

I was about to drive back to my apartment when I remembered why I had left; to give Quinn and the hobbit some time alone. I couldn't exactly go back upstairs to Puck either. So there was only one logical place left to go where I could bitch all I wanted without getting backhanded for it.

Mercedes'.

* * *

I was surprised when Sam answered the door. He did some weird kind of Avatar impersonation before I pushed past him and into the apartment.

I was even more surprised when I got to the lounge and saw Mercedes sitting with Sugar and Brittany. The former two ignored me and carried on with their conversation but Brittany jumped to her feet as soon as she saw me and embraced me in a hug. I felt awkward hugging her back, slightly because I was guilty about looking her up this morning but also because of the fact that I was suspicious about her need to keep secrets as small as her growing up in Ohio.

When we pulled apart, I was aware of the look on Mercedes' face. I glared at her. "What's your problem, Jones?"

She shrugged with a patronising smirk on her face. "Nothing, Satan. I'm just glad you and your girlfriend aren't afraid of a little PDA."

I glowered at her and was about to retort when Brittany pulled on my hand, directing me towards the couch. I sat down with her but, noticing Mercedes pull a smug smile, I distanced myself a bit. She was getting far too smart with all her little comments and it was kinda getting on my nerves just how much she kept pointing out that Brittany and I could be a couple.

Sam walked into the room with two sodas in his hand. He passed one to Mercedes and then sat down next to her, a lot closer than I would have thought her to be comfortable with.

"So, are you two together?" I asked them both.

Sam blushed a little but Mercedes just grinned at me and nodded. Then her eyes turned playful again and I knew she was about to make another crack at me and Brittany. "Are you two?"

My eyes narrowed and my mouth set in a straight line. I felt Brittany's hand on my knee, trying to calm me down but it only made me even more jittery.

"Mercedes, Santana and I are just friends," Brittany explained. I didn't turn to look at her when I felt her eyes on me because I knew that if I did and I saw her smiling, I'd smile too. And that would only give Mercedes more ammunition. "And Santana doesn't like girls. Well, she likes girls but she doesn't _like_ like girls. At least, I think so. Sanny?"

I forced myself to look at her and keep a straight face even though inside I was all bubbly and fuzzy from the new nickname she had given me.

"Do you like girls as friends?"

She had such an innocent look on her face when she asked it that I couldn't help but left my face soften into a small smile. "Yes, Britt-Britt."

Then Mercedes decided to ruin the moment. "And do you _like_ like girls?"

I shuffled in my seat slightly as I turned to face the bitch in my life so that Brittany's hand would fall from my knee. I tried not to envision the hurt look that would shadow her face and instead put all my frustration into replying to Mercedes' comment.

"No, Mercedes," I growled. "I do not _like_ like girls. I have never _like _liked girls and I _will_ never _like_ like girls so stop fucking asking me and stop making my friendship with Brittany so fucking awkward-"

"It wouldn't be awkward if someone said it about us though," Mercedes pointed out and that made me pause. She was right. If someone had, as people have in the past, pointed out that my relationship with Mercedes was more than it was, I wouldn't have been so defensive about it. In fact, I would have embraced it and probably have put on a little show. We had acted like we were together many times when some weird guy hit on either one of us so I didn't know why I was acting like her joking around about me and Brittany was such a big deal.

I didn't reply to her. I _did_, however, move further away from Brittany so that she was now at one end of the couch and I was at the other. I felt really awkward sitting with her but I couldn't understand why. We weren't in a relationship so why was I being so weird about Mercedes joking around?

"Sorry, Santana," my friend said, looking truly apologetic. "I didn't mean to make you feel awkward."

I shrugged. "It's fine."

She looked unconvinced but was distracted from paying any attention to me when Sam got to his feet.

"It was nice meeting all of you," he said with a goofy grin on his face. "But I have a feeling that these conversations aren't really something I should be taking part in and I need to do some work on that original song thing Mr Schue gave us so I should be getting home."

We all gave him a small wave goodbye and Mercedes led him to the door, leaving me alone with Sugar and Brittany.

"You two would make such a cute couple," Sugar murmured, looking like she was deep in thought.

"_Sugar_," Brittany scolded with a stern expression. I almost smiled because it just made her look even more adorable. And then I remembered what Mercedes and Sugar were not so subtly hinting at and ridded myself of the thought.

"What?" Sugar asked, not seeming to realise we were uncomfortable with the topic. Well, not so much Brittany. She seemed fine with it. "I was just pointing out the obvious. And, Britt, you _know_ I have aspergers. Sometimes, these things just pop out."

Brittany rolled her eyes and leant back on the couch, not bothering to reply. I could tell that not all of her moodiness was directed at Sugar though. I'm sure some of it was because I wasn't taking the jokes as lightly as she was. I felt myself frown. I still wasn't quite sure why that was.

Mercedes walked back into the room and clapped her hands together with an excited expression on her face. "Who wants to have a sleepover?"

Brittany and Sugar also got excited about the idea but I stood up. "Sorry, Mercy. I haven't got any night stuff with me."

Brittany gave me a look of confusion. "But neither have me and Sugar."

"I can lend you some," Mercedes offered.

I shook my head. I really didn't want to have a sleepover where I couldn't help but be nice to Brittany but have Sugar and Mercedes having it hang over my head the whole time. "No, thanks. I don't have any clothes for tomorrow either so-"

"Neither do we," Brittany repeated, pointing between Sugar and herself.

I sent her a frustrated look which then made me feel guilty because she pulled a hurt face after I did it. I turned back to Mercedes, trying to ignore that guilty feeling in my stomach.

"I have a lesson early tomorrow."

"You do?" Mercedes asked, her eyebrows pulled together in confusion.

"Yep," I lied. "So, if you don't mind, I'll be off. I'll see all of you later."

I walked out of the apartment and stood in the night air for a few minutes, wondering how so much time had passed by and also why I had just lied and not simply said that I didn't want to be there. Mercedes wouldn't have taken it personally. I told her many times that I didn't want to hang out with her and she just brushed it off. I had a feeling that it had something to do with Brittany. I didn't want her to think that the only reason I wasn't staying at Mercedes' apartment was because of her. Even though it was.

I shook my head to clear it. I didn't want to think about Brittany. Or Mercedes. Or Sugar.

But, as I walked towards my car, I realised that that would be a lot harder to do than I thought. Brittany's bike was parked right next to my car. How had I not noticed that before? And, next to her bike was a really expensive looking pink and flower covered car which, I had no doubt, belonged to Sugar. But I didn't care about that. I was too busy looking at the motorbike.

How could Brittany ride that thing? She said that she had practiced for motocross but I couldn't believe that she would be willing to ride on some kind of death machine. She was a lot braver than me, that's for sure.

It actually made me kind of worried. What if she hurt herself? What if she fell off the bike around a load of cars? The thought made my heart ache but I forced myself to ignore it. What Brittany did was of no concern of mine.

I walked towards my car and climbed in. I hoped that Quinn and Rachel had enjoyed their free time because I really wasn't in the mood to go anywhere but back to the apartment. It turned out that I wasn't really interrupting anything because they were just in the kitchen; Rachel watching Quinn as she cooked. I sat down next to her and put my head in my hands.

"What's up?" I heard Quinn ask over the clattering of saucepans.

"Nothing."

"How was Puck?"

I felt Rachel tense beside me and almost told her that she had no reason to worry about him because he was walking on a fucking rainbow with a limp hand but kept my mouth shut. Puck would kill me if I did that.

"He was fine," I muttered, practically growling it out. "I only saw him for a few minutes. I went to Mercedes'."

"Oh," Rachel said excitedly, causing me to raise my head and witness the grin and hand clapping display. Honestly, she'd make a great sea lion if she could pull those kinda tricks. "Britt and Sugar were there."

I rolled my eyes. "Duh."

She narrowed her eyes at me and I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. It felt like she was inspecting me. "Is that why you're upset?"

"What? I'm not upset, Berry."

She raised an eyebrow at me. "Then how come you walked right in here and put your head in your hands? I know theatricality and attention seeking whenever I see it, obviously with me being a Broadway wannabe. And don't deny it, Lopez. If you didn't want us to ask what was wrong, you would have gone straight to your room. So, either tell us or bye-bye."

I glared at her but inside I was a bit impressed that she had managed to read me so easily. So, to get her to stop talking at me, I gave in. "Mercedes keeps making a joke about me being nice to Brittany."

Quinn looked over her shoulder at me, confusion written all over her face. "Why?"

Rachel took the opportunity to fill Quinn in. Oh, _wanky_. No, joke. Ew, that's disgusting, I don't know why I thought of that. The image... Ew. Anyway!

"Yeah, she gave Britt a hug when I went to pick her up on Thursday!" Quinn looked at me with her eyes wide but, oh no, Miss Rachel Berry wasn't finished. "And she never made a Brittney Spears joke and she didn't comment on Brittany's wonderful if not slightly ignorant way of thinking. And Sugar told me the other day that, Thursday night when they all went out together, they started making out on the table. Then she told me that Mercedes told her that-"

"Okay, okay," I muttered, waving a hand in her face to shut her up. "Let's calm down. Just because all of that happened, doesn't mean Mercedes needs to make a joke about it."

"Erm, it kinda does," Quinn pointed out.

"Cook, Fabray," I growled. She shrugged and went back to cooking.

"But you two would make such a nice couple," Rachel said, fawning over the idea of me and Brittany being together. "You could come on double dates with me and Quinn and we'd all have such a good time. She'd be good for you, Santana. She might be the one who can tame the female dog."

I looked at her, confused.

"She means 'bitch', San," Quinn informed me. "And she's right. Maybe Britt would be good for you."

I cried out in frustration and stood up from my chair. "Fuck the two of you," I spat. "I already get enough of this from Mercy and I am sick to death of it."

They both just looked at me with calm faces which made me even more frustrated. I missed the days when I was the HBIC and everyone would cower under my glare. Unfortunately, I had picked friends (who had then picked girlfriends that were by no means my friends) who could withstand said glare. I growled at both of them and then stormed out of the kitchen to my room.

It was only ten but I felt exhausted from the torment I had been put through all day and the surprises that had been sprung upon me so, as soon as I was changed, I collapsed on my bed and fell asleep.

* * *

I had gotten ten hours sleep that night so I didn't get why, as I drove to college, I felt so tired. I pinned it on Mercedes' teasing and the guilt I felt at leaving both Brittany and Sugar in her hands. No doubt she had made them watch sickly sweet rom-coms all night long and force fed them popcorn until it was shooting out of their ears. Then again, as I thought about it, both Brittany and Sugar looked as thought they probably liked that stuff anyway.

As I pulled into a parking space, I noticed someone pull in beside me but wasn't completely aware of who it was until I got out. Did the big guy in the sky hate me or something? Because there was no other reason for my life to abso-_fucking_-lutely suck.

"Santana?"

I turned, having failed at my attempt to sneak away from the figure now dismounting from the motorbike. She took off her helmet and waved out her blond her and, for a moment, time stopped. She was so beautiful. No. Wait. I didn't mean it like that. I just meant I was jealous of her, looking drop dead smokin' all the bloody time.

"I thought your lessons started this morning?" she asked, holding her helmet under her arm.

"They did," I said slowly, trying to think of an excuse as to why I had just pulled up in my car. "I just left some of my books at home so I had to go get them."

"Ah." She smiled and nodded. "I do that sometimes. I forget the key to the shop in the morning and have to drive all the way back home to get it. Sometimes I think I'm a goldfish."

I cocked my head to the side, confused. What on earth did one subject have to do with the other? I shook my head to rid myself of the confusion and just smiled at her. "So, what are you doing here?"

She rolled her eyes. "Finn apparently has two right feet so I need to spend some time teaching him how to dance properly."

I decided not to correct her and say that, actually, it was two left feet because her mistake just made her cuter. Wait, ignore that.

My eyes narrowed. "Finn?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "That's what I said. Anyway, I was wondering if, like, after I finished teaching and you've finished with your classes and stuff, we could, you know, grab a cup of coffee or something...?"

She looked so nervous when she asked it that I immediately felt guilty for the way that I had treated her yesterday. But I still couldn't say yes. I don't know why but what Mercedes kept reinforcing made me determined to prove that she was wrong and that there was absolutely nothing going on between me and Brittany.

"I'm sorry, Britt," I said, trying not to feel so bad about lying to her. "But I need to get home after this because me, Quinn and Rachel were gonna have dinner out somewhere."

"But dinner's later," Brittany said, confused. "We have time for coffee."

I cursed in my head. "We were going to have an early dinner," I shrugged. "And I need to change when I get back so I don't think I will have time for coffee. I'm sorry, Britt."

She looked really upset but she nodded her head and forced a smile. "It's okay. I'll hang out with Finn instead."

My heart nearly stopped when I heard her say that. It sounded like she could replace me so easily and, I don't know why, but I felt insanely jealous of Finn wasting any of her time. But, being the usual stubborn bitch that I so proudly am, I didn't say any of this. I smiled brightly at Brittany and nodded my head.

"Great, I'll see you tomorrow at work then?"

"Yeah."

My smile dropped as I turned around and walked towards the college main building. It shouldn't have hurt so much for Brittany to hang out with someone else. She was just my friend. She could spend her time with whoever she wanted.

But Finn had asked her out.

And I really didn't have a clue how that made a difference and why it hurt my chest so much.

* * *

The reason I had taken Spanish class was because it was so _easy_. Considering that I had spent my childhood learning both Spanish and English, I had no doubt that I would ace every Spanish exam thrown my way. Unfortunately, that's what made the class so boring.

Mr Martinez was going over all the crap that I had learnt whilst I was still wearing nappies and crying over a paper cut. Hell, I knew this stuff when my Abuela was still calling me Garbage Face. And that was before kindergarten.

So, I spent the whole lesson just doodling in my notebook and looking up every once in a while to answer a question. I couldn't believe this lesson was two hours long. That added up to a _lot_ of doodles. I tried to ignore that most of them were hearts and that I had subconsciously written the letters 'B.S.P' over and over again. Once I noticed just how many times I had written them, I ripped the page out of my book and crumpled it up, throwing it into the bin behind me. Lucky I sat on my own. If anyone had seen what I was writing, I'd die of embarrassment.

I didn't know what was wrong with me but I knew that _something_ was. I spent the rest of the lesson without touching my pen and chewing on my nails to keep myself entertained.

"Gracias a todos por la gran lección. No te olvides de trabajar en su pronunciación y voy a verlos a todos mañana. Tenga un buen día!"Mr Martinez said, a grin spread over his face. I was surprised to see that some of the people in the class barely understood what he was saying. If they were this bad at Spanish, why the hell were they doing a degree in it?

I picked up my stuff, put it in my shoulder bag and left the room. I didn't want to linger and wait for one of the dorks in my class to speak to me. Last time that had happened, someone had asked me to do their homework for them. And the actually thought I would. I had, of course, being the brilliant person that I am but, before I handed it back to them, I made sure to write that they were currently crushing on their Spanish teacher and had created a very descriptive wet dream they had of him. It was hilarious when Mr Martinez had started to read it out to the class and gradually got quieter as the essay went on before falling completely silent, his eyes bugging out and cheeks flushing.

I walked out of the entrance of the building and was pulled to the side and practically dragged away from the entrance and down the side of the college to a garden created just for the college students but no one actually hung out there. It was probably the most secluded place on college grounds and I was anxious to know why I had been dragged here. As I turned around, my stomach dropped at the sight of an angry Brittany.

"I talked to Rachel."

My stomach was currently in China.

"She said you don't have plans for tonight."

I could see that Brittany was trying to control herself from crying and I bit my lip in an attempt to keep myself from hugging her. I had decided after my little doodles in class that I needed to keep our hugs and touches to a minimum. Because they were making me really confused.

"Why are you ignoring me?" Brittany finally asked, meeting my eyes and letting the tears slide down her cheeks. "Is that why you went home last night when Mercedes wanted a sleepover? Because I know you didn't have class this morning, Rachel told me that too."

In any other situation or with anybody other than Brittany, I would have been slightly concerned that they were so paranoid someone was ignoring them that they'd follow them up on their excuse for not hanging out, but this _was_ Brittany and all I could feel right now was the soaring feeling of guilt coursing through my veins.

"Britt..." I started and then paused, not really sure what to say. "I just... I want to prove that Mercedes is wrong. I'm sorry that I ignored you to do that. I just really hate the way that she keeps looking at us and commenting on us being a 'couple' and stuff."

She pouted and my breath caught. She looked absolutely adorable. "Does it matter?"

I coughed nervously and looked to the side. "Of course it matters. I'm not a lesbian, Brittany. I don't wear plaid shirts or play golf. I don't crush on girls. I likes me some dick. I am the most non-lesbian person on the planet. So it bothers me when Mercedes keeps commenting that we look like we're together."

She wiped away her tears on the sleeve of her shirt and I wondered for the first time where her helmet and leather jacket were. But that thought left my mind as soon as she asked her question. "But would it be so bad if we _were_ together?"

My breath caught in my throat again but this time it felt like I was going to coke. How did I answer to _that_? She had already said to Puck that she liked me. As in the _like_ like sense. I didn't want to hurt her feeling but, at the same time, I knew I had to.

I tried to ignore the fact that my heart was fluttering wildly at her question and formed the words in my head. "Brittany, we can't be together."

She stepped closer to me and I felt my chest tighten painfully as she looked down at me with sad eyes. "But why?"

I didn't know. I honestly didn't. I tried to say that it was because I was straight or it was because I had never been with a girl or it was because I wasn't attracted to her like that but the words didn't leave my lips because they didn't feel like reasons as to why I couldn't be with her, they felt like excuses. I _could_ be with her. I knew it. She knew it. Hell, Mercedes, Sugar and even _Sam_ knew it.

But the fact remained that I was scared of this. Scared of what she did to me. I didn't like that I was writing down her initials next to hearts in my Spanish book. I hated the fact that my mind would trail back to her even in my sleep. I despised that she was the only one who could make me blush like I was now. I couldn't stand that, every time we touched or she looked at me, my heart either stopped or went into overdrive.

It wasn't _me._

"I really like you, Sanny," Brittany murmured as she leant in closer. I felt like I could see all of her in her eyes and she looked so vulnerable and trusting that it made me blush.

Surely, if I wasn't really me when I was around her, it didn't matter that I said, "I really like you too, Britt-Britt."

So, if I was never me when she was around, surely it didn't matter that when she looked me in the eyes like she was looking at my soul and leant down further, I tilted my head up so that my lips were just a millimetre away from hers.

Surely it didn't mater that, when her lips pressed against mine, I kissed back.


	7. Straight

I suddenly became very aware that Brittany was a girl and that I was kissing her. I pulled away quickly and took a step back. Brittany just followed and tried to kiss me again but I held her away by the shoulders. She gave me a confused look. I just stared at her with wide eyes, completely shocked by my actions.

"Santana?" she asked, trying to caress my cheek but I held her hand away by the wrist. I think I was having a panic attack. My heart was beating uncontrollably fast and I was having to gasp for breathe. I think I felt tears running down my cheeks and it became even more obvious that I was crying when my vision became blurry.

I pulled back again as she pulled her eyebrows together in further confusion. Then I turned and ran.

I could hear her footsteps behind me and her voice shouting my name. I lifted my wrist to my eyes and wiped away my tears. What had I done? I'd just kissed Brittany. That- That wasn't _right_.

I don't remember getting into my car but I saw Brittany standing next to my door and trying to get me to come out but I'd locked the doors so she couldn't get in. When I turned on the engine and started to pull out of my parking space, she turned and jumped onto her bike. In the back of my head, I was worried that she wasn't wearing her helmet or her jacket but I was too busy concentrating on getting away from her to shout at her to stop.

I raced back to the apartment. I noticed all the drivers giving me looks like I was crazy as I drove. I eventually lost Brittany but I still drove like my life depended on it until I got to the apartment where I ran up the stairs, into mine and Quinn's apartment, straight past my best friend and into my room.

"Santana?" I heard her shout but I slammed my door shut and locked it. I leant back against it and let sobs wrack through my body. Oh, _fucking _god! What had I done?

I buried my face in my hands, trying to catch my tears and calm myself down but my eyes wouldn't stop welling up. I slid down against the door and brought my knees up to my chest. I was crying loudly now and Quinn was thumping on my door, shouting for me to open it. She threatened to break it down but I couldn't care less.

I had just kissed Brittany.

* * *

_Knock knock_

I was sitting on the bed. I replayed the kiss in my head over and over, trying to think why I had let it happen but I didn't get it. I was straight. I liked boys and boys liked me. I didn't want Brittany when I could have practically any guy I wanted. No, I was just being irrational. Brittany had confused me but that didn't mean I _liked_ her. Because I didn't. I didn't like her at all. Sure, we were friends but I wasn't attracted to her. Because she's a girl.

_Knock knock_

I had stopped crying a while ago. I think I ran out of tears. I was still breathing deeply and trying to remain calm but there was really no need to. Because that _stupid_ kiss had been an accident. I was starting to doubt that I had actually kissed Brittany back. Why would I? I'm straight.

_Knock knock_

"Santana?"

I couldn't have kissed her. No, she had kissed me because she liked me. She told Puck she liked me and she acted like she did. She had kissed me and I pulled away. I didn't kiss back. Because I was _not_ attracted to girls. I'm fucking _straight_.

"Santana, can I come in?"

I felt like a zombie as I moved towards the door and unlocked it. I opened it just slightly to see Rachel looking at me with worried eyes. I just stared back blankly.

"What?" I asked.

"Can I come in?"

I looked back in my room and saw all the tissues I had used to wipe away my tears laying everywhere as well as a teddy I had used to comfort me. Hell no. Rachel was _not_ going to come in my room and see just how pathetic I had been acting.

"No," I answered, looking back at her with a bored expression.

She bit her lip, obviously nervous. I wouldn't be surprised if Quinn had sent her up here to talk to me. I think she had given up on me about an hour ago when I screamed at her to _fuck the hell off_.

"Santana, did something happen at college?" she asked, not meeting my eyes. "Did Finn hurt you again?"

I laughed at that. "Finn? Hurt me? Please, hobbit, give me some credit. If he so much as touched me, I'd crush his balls. Not that he needs them anyway given the lifestyle he's chosen."

"What?" she said, confused.

I shrugged. "It doesn't matter. Yes, I've been crying but I don't think it's any of your business, do you?"

"Santana, me and Quinn are wor-"

"Rachel," I growled, leaning in to her and narrowing my eyes. She took a step back, looking intimidated. "Leave me the fuck alone, okay? I don't want to fucking speak to anyone, least of all you. And tell Quinn to stay the hell out of my life because I am so close to telling her parents that she's fucking gay."

She didn't seem that surprised by what I had said and she didn't move. I admired her courage a little. Most people would have left by now. However, I couldn't help but think that she was a little stupid because I was in the mood to go all Lima Heights.

"Is it Brittany?"

I froze. Why would she think this was about Brittany? Did I make it obvious? Wait, what was obvious? I didn't like Brittany like that. Sure, I cared about her but that didn't give Rachel a reason to believe that I had spent the last three hours crying my guts out because of her. How did she know this was about Brittany? I looked down at her and she was looking up at me with one of those pathetically sympathetic looks on her face. I shut the door on her and locked it. I wasn't going to stand there and accept her sympathy. I didn't _want_ her sympathy and I certainly didn't _need_ it.

I went back to my bed and sat on the edge, my eyes still wide from Rachel's accurate guess. I looked at myself in my bedroom mirror. My eyes were red and my face was pale. Anyone would be able to guess that I had been crying. So I grabbed my makeup bag and decided to make it less obvious.

Then I heard Rachel speaking outside my door and, for a moment I thought she was speaking to me.

"Hey, Britt, can you come over to Santana and Quinn's apartment? Of course. I shall text you the address. Thank you."

I narrowed my eyes at my reflection. That little bitch was just out to make my life a living hell. After all I had fucking done for her-

Wait. Why did it matter? Of course Brittany could come over. It wasn't like I _liked_ her. I would just explain to her that the kiss was a mistake and she should forget it. I could do that and I _would_ do that. It was easy. When Brittany got here, I would tell her exactly how I felt and she would hopefully take it like a good friend would. She'd forgive me and then apologise for mistaking any signals that I might have been sending her.

Easy.

* * *

It turned out telling Brittany that I didn't like her wasn't actually that easy. She knocked on my door and I froze. Again. It wasn't normal for me to freeze up like I had been doing so many times today. I tried to shake off the feeling of nausea I had as I went to unlock my door.

I wasn't prepared for the sight that I opened my door to.

Brittany was leaning on the door frame in a tank top and some sweats. I wondered if she had come over on her bike and, if she had, if she had left her stuff downstairs. But surely she wouldn't ride in her sweats? I shook my head. I didn't want to think about what she _did_ do and what she _didn't _do.

She had red eyes like mine had been a little over twenty minutes ago before I had put on my makeup. I didn't want to look weak in front of her but I still felt my legs shaking. I don't know how she managed it but, even when she looked like a mess, she still looked like the most beautiful girl in the world.

I found it amazing that she was letting me see her so vulnerable when I couldn't stand her seeing me like that. It surprised me that I cared what she thought. I was so confused.

"San?"

She was looking straight at me and I realised it was hard to look into her eyes for more than a few seconds at a time. Her voice was broken and kind of husky. I couldn't help but think it was still the most amazing voice in the world and I almost broke down again just from that thought.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered, planting a hand on the wall beside her as she looked like she was about to collapse. She started to cry and held her arm in front of her closed eyes, most likely because she didn't want me to see. "San, I didn't mean to."

I couldn't speak. All of those things I wanted to say to her refused to leave my lips. I couldn't tell her that the kiss was a mistake and I had no idea why. Instead, I wanted to hug her and tell her that she had no reason to apologise although I could have sworn that half an hour or so ago, that was exactly what I wanted. I wanted her to say that she didn't want to kiss me and that it was just an accident but the thought of hearing those words now made my heart shatter. All I could do was stare at her as she tried to control her sobs with her arm in front of her face.

"I-I-I couldn't h-help it," she croaked out. "I-I swear, San. I'm s-so sorry."

"Get out," I breathed, looking down at our feet and noticing that she was in running shoes. Had she ran here? How far away did she live?

She was staring at me. I could feel her eyes on my face, almost like she was trying to get me to look up at her.

"Wh-What?"

I forced myself to look into her eyes and glare at her and, as much as the hurt look on her face broke my heart, I continued to do it. "I said, get the fuck out."

The tears were flowing freely down her cheeks and she shook her head like she refused to believe what I was saying. "San, I'm sorry-"

"Get out of my apartment, Brittany," I growled. I didn't want to look at her anymore. She made me feel weak and pathetic and all I wanted to do was fall to my knees and tell her that I didn't mean anything that I said but I wouldn't. I was Santana Lopez and I would not give in to anybody.

She looked really hurt and, not being able to stand my heart shattering to pieces like it would if I continued to glare at her, I closed my door and locked it again.

Then, leaning on it and gripping my hair in my hands, I broke down, letting all the tears that I thought I had already cried fall down my cheeks.

* * *

The next day, I was tempted to skip college. Not only did I have to get up early, I had music after lunch. By the time it came, I had a splitting headache and was not prepared to deal with either Mercedes, Brittany or Finn.

We were in the theatre again because we were going to be rehearsing Beauty and the beast. Fortunately, Mercedes didn't have that much of a big part. She was supposed to be playing the part of the teacups mum (I still couldn't actually believe that this was the musical we were going to perform to the whole college. It was ridiculously childish) so I wouldn't have to speak to her at all in class. _Un_fortunately, Finn did have a big part and was starring right next to me in the musical so I had to put up with him. I decided, when our time for a break came and Brittany still had to teach the other people in our class, to pull him aside and give him an ultimatum.

"What do you want, Santana?" he asked me, obviously annoyed. I was getting quite pissed off at him too, to be honest. He had been inappropriately checking Brittany out during the whole time we had been dancing and it made me feel sick. I chose to ignore that feeling along with the feeling of guilt every time I avoided Brittany.

"I want you to pull out of the musical."

Finn looked at me like I was crazy. "What makes you think I'm going to do that?"

I folded my arms over my chest and calmly looked up at him. He was too fucking tall. "Because, if you don't, I'll tell everyone about you and Puck. And, Puck may be my best friend, but I _hate_ you so I don't really care what he'll think of me when I _do_ tell everyone."

He stared at me for a moment. And then he looked around the class to make sure nobody had heard when I said and then he glanced at Mr Schue before meeting my eyes again with a defeated look in his eyes. "You're such a bitch."

I shrugged. "And you're such a baby but, hey, at least I'm not sticking a pacifier in your mouth to keep your big hypocritical homophobic nonsense from spilling out or putting you in a diaper so you stop shitting that crap all over the place."

He narrowed his eyes at me but turned away without replying to go and speak with Mr Schue.

Brittany took that moment to walk over to me.

"Santana, please will you speak to me?"

I didn't.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her brow wrinkling as she frowned with a desperate expression on her face. "Please can you just forgive me? I want to go back to being friends."

I started to walk away from her and towards Finn who had just finished talking to Mr Schue. She followed me and gripped my wrist. I froze at the touch. It sent tiny little electric shocks up my arm and through my spine and I pulled out of her grip to make it stop. She stared at me, looking really sorry about what she had just done.

"I'm sorry," she said again. She looked away. "If you don't want to come to work later, I understand."

I glared at her and felt my jaw tighten. "Why wouldn't I want to come to work later?"

She seemed surprised at that and met my eyes again. I tried not to let my eyes soften at the way she looked at me. "Well, because of the... because of-"

"Brittany, we're forgetting about that," I hissed at her, scowling. "If you tell anyone what happened, I _will_ destroy you. Do you understand?"

Her eyes were wide. Then she looked away from me and her eyes started to fill with tears as she nodded. I knew that I was hurting her but, maybe if I was horrible to her, she'd finally snap back at me and I wouldn't feel so confused about what she was doing to me. The guilt was worth getting rid of the feelings I thought I had for her.

I walked away from her, again trailing after Finn to see if he'd done what I'd said but I stopped when Mr Schue called out.

"Guys, can you all sit down? I've got some bad news."

I smirked a little as I jumped off the stage and sat in one of the front seats, away from both Mercedes and Brittany.

Mr Schue stood on the stage, looking both confused and disappointed. "I'm afraid that Finn has pulled out of the musical. He thinks that he's going to let down the class because he's not that great a dancer. If anyone of you can convince him to come back, I would appreciate it very much. In the meantime, however, I'll look for someone else to play the Beast."

I tried to keep my smile to a minimum because I was aware that Mr Schue could see me clearly from where he was standing but, inside, I was grinning widely. Finn was out of the musical. At least _one_ good thing had happened over the last few days.

* * *

"Santana, we need to talk."

I ignored her and continued to sweep up all the invisible dust that was covering the floor. She knew I wasn't really cleaning. I'd spent the last hour sweeping the floor and it was a really small shop. It really didn't take that much time to make sure the floor was spotless. Right now, it was practically gleaming.

"Santana, will you listen to me?" she asked. I could tell by her tone that she was starting to get annoyed but I still refused to look at her.

"You said you liked me too."

I hesitated for a moment before continuing to sweep. Her voice had sounded so weak and vulnerable. I hated acting like this towards her but it was the only way these annoying, ridiculous feelings were going to go away.

"Santana," she growled and I had one second to look over my shoulder at her in shock before she grabbed my arm and dragged me into the back room. I stared at her for a moment before she leant in and kissed me without warning.

It wasn't like yesterday's kiss. This one was more desperate, like she was searching for something and, before my brain could communicate with the rest of my body and tell it to pull away, I started to kiss back just as desperately. I didn't know what I was doing. All I felt was the need to reassure her that I liked her too and that she should stop being miserable.

I felt my hands grasp the back of her head as I tried to pull her closer and her hands threaded through my hair.

Then I felt her lick my bottom lip and every rational thought I had had since the kiss yesterday flew back to me.

I was kissing a girl.

I started to sob into her and pulled away. My hands were still on her and hers still on me. Her eyes softened sympathetically and she pulled me back into her, so that my head was buried into her neck and I let it all go. My tears were staining her shirt but I honestly couldn't bring myself to care. She was the reason I felt like this and I still didn't fucking understand!

"I'm straight," I whispered, trying to convince myself that I definitely was. I must have been. The amount of guys I had slept with in high school was astronomical. I was definitely straight... But Brittany still had the power to make me feel more vulnerable than any of those guys had.

At my words, Brittany's body tensed up and I felt her grip tighten in my hair. She pulled away slightly so she could look down at me. "Maybe you should go home, San."

I couldn't look in her eyes. "Why?"

"Because you're not in the state to work and you need to sort your head out," she sighed. I could tell that she was hurt by what I said. "If you're straight, San, I would appreciate it if you just came out and told me that you didn't like me instead of just plain ignoring me."

I finally looked up at her but she wasn't looking at me. I wanted to tell her either that I did like her so that she wouldn't feel so bad or that I didn't so I could just act like nothing had happened but nothing left my mouth. I just pulled away from her, grabbed my bag that was sitting on her work desk and left the shop.

I could feel her eyes on me as I left.

* * *

Rachel wasn't with Quinn when I got home. My best friend was, instead, focusing on her homework in the kitchen. She glanced up for a second when I walked in, looked like she was deciding whether or not to ask me about yesterday, and then focused on the books in front of her again.

I knew that she wouldn't actually ask me anything now. She'd wait until I told her what was going on. The only reason she had probably bothered yesterday was because I sounded like I was going to scream the whole apartment block down.

I was sure that she realised my eyes were red and that I was back from work far too early but I was glad she didn't ask why. No doubt she already knew it had something to do with Brittany since Rachel had managed to guess that and Brittany had come around yesterday to speak to me. I was grateful that she was respecting my privacy and not forcing me to tell her. And, to show my gratitude, I made her a cup of coffee.

She looked at it with a cautious expression and took of her glasses to study it closer. Then she met my eyes. "What is this?"

"It's coffee," I said, grinning at her. I was kind of proud that I had managed to actually make a cup of coffee but, when I looked down into my own cup, I frowned. The black bits weren't dissolving.

Quinn sighed and got to her feet. "Which pack of coffee did you use, Santana?"

I pointed to the pack and she picked it up, looked at the label and sighed again. She turned it around for me to see and pointed at the world 'filter'. "You see this?" she asked. I nodded. "This coffee is supposed to be used in the filtering machine."

I stared at her with a blank face and she stared right back before giving yet another frustrated sigh. She pointed at the weird looking machine next to the kettle. "That's the filtering machine." Then she opened the cupboard and took out another packet of coffee. "_This_ is instant coffee that you make with the kettle."

I looked back down into my cup and then back up at Quinn with a sheepish smile on my face. "Can you make it?"

She gave in and shrugged. "I suppose," she muttered. "You know, San, I worry about what you're going to do when we no longer live together."

I smirked. "I'll hire a maid."

She gave me an annoyed glance over her shoulder before giving the coffee her attention again. "Is that all I am to you?"

"What can I say?" I said, grinning behind her back. "But don't worry, Quinn. You make a great maid."

She scoffed and gave me another annoyed look. She passed me a cup of coffee and made herself one. I took a sip and sighed. "That's good coffee."

She laughed as she drank her own. "One day I'll teach you how to make some."

I chuckled. I was happy that Quinn had managed to take my mind off Brittany for a while. I still felt a little nervous about the fact that I had music first thing in the morning tomorrow. It wasn't exactly like I'd left Brittany on good terms. I had literally just walked out on her. Maybe she'd be so angry at me that she wouldn't speak to me. I don't know why that made me so hopeful yet so hurt at the same time.

I finished my coffee as I thought about tomorrow and noticed that Quinn had gone back to her homework. She looked up as I put my mug in the sink and tapped her chin with her pen.

Then she sighed and I knew what was coming. "San, what's going on?"

I didn't meet her eyes. "Nothing much. Just ignore me, Quinn. I'll be fine once I've sorted it out."

"Sorted _what_ out?" I met her gaze and she had a questioning expression on her face. "I know it's about Brittany, San. Has she done something to you? Have you fallen out with her or something?"

I looked away again. "Something like that," I muttered. "Really, Quinn, you've got nothing to worry about. Can you just leave it?"

She paused for a moment and I glanced at her to get my answer. Her eyes were full of suspicion but she nodded her head anyway and let to subject rest as she went back to her books. I let out a breath of relief I hadn't realised I'd been holding as I walked out of the kitchen and towards my room.

As much as I loved Quinn, I wasn't going to tell her about what was happening between me and Brittany. Yes, she'd be perfectly accepting of everything but I couldn't help but think she'd believe this was a secret I'd been keeping a while. Not the whole me and Brittany thing but me liking... well, me _possibly_ liking girls. And, the thing that would make that situation even more awkward was high school.

But that's for later.

I chucked my bag onto my bed and took my phone out of my pocket as I felt it vibrate. It was Puck. I watched his face flashing up on my screen for a while but eventually I pushed the decline button. I wasn't in the mood to speak to him. He hadn't told me what the fuck-

That's when I realised that what Puck was going through was a lot similar to what I was going through. I sat down on my bed in shock. I was such a hypocrite. I was about to ring him back but paused. What exactly was I going to say to him? 'Hi, Puck. I'm sorry about the other day when I was angry about you being gay but... here's the thing; I think I might be gay too. Yeah, funny story, right?" There was no way he was going to let this go if I told him.

I let my head hit my pillow. My life was becoming such a mess. I still wasn't entirely sure _who_ Brittany was. I knew she was keeping secrets and, even though they were small, there must have been a reason why she was keeping them.

I think I probably had a crush on Brittany. The thought made me sick to the stomach and tears come to my eyes but I tried my best to remain calm. It wasn't like I hadn't had a girl crush before. I mean, those crushes were usually on celebrities who I would probably never meet, not someone who had the same feelings for me. I would get over this.

I just needed to build up the courage to tell Brittany that I couldn't do this. That I liked her but I couldn't be with her.

Because I'm straight.

* * *

Everyone was sitting in the college theatre as we waited for Mr Schue to walk onto the stage. I had decided to sit next to Mercedes again because she appeared to be paying more attention to Sam then she did winding me up and I didn't want to be on my own which might encourage Brittany to talk to me.

Mr Schue came onto the stage with a big smile on his face which either meant he had found a new Beast or Finn had decided it was time to be pushed out of the closet. He clapped his hands to get everyone's attention.

"Okay, guys," he shouted. "Calm down. Calm down. I have found a new person to play the Beast and, although this may not be the most conventional casting choice, I think it's probably the most convenient. I was rather surprised that nobody else here wanted to play the Beast but I respect all of your decisions and I'm happy with how this turned out. So, everybody, please welcome our new cast mate."

Everyone waited anxiously for whoever it was to make an appearance on the stage, me most of all. After all, I was going to have to spend a load of time with whoever walked out and took on the role of the Beast. I just hoped they were nothing like Finn.

As they walked out on stage, I realised that my life could not possibly get any worse than it was right now.

Mercedes was chuckling as she leaned over to talk to me. "Hey, San. You get to hang out with your girlfriend even more now."

I got to my feet to glare at her and she stopped laughing. Everyone was staring at me now.

Mr Schue looked at me, realisation dawning on his face. "Oh, Santana. Are you okay with this? I know there's a kiss scene towards the end so-"

I just glared at him and he stopped talking. I glanced towards Brittany and felt my stomach leap in a pleasant way which, in turn, created an unpleasant feeling. I felt my eyes tearing up but I refused to let anyone in this godforsaken class see me cry so I walked out of the theatre.

Footsteps were chasing after me. I knew who it was before she turned me around. "San, I'm sorry. I'll drop out if you want me to. I didn't even think about what the scenes would be like. I just wanted to sing and dance so I thought I could help Will. I'm sorry."

I shook her off and let the tears fall. "I'm just really confused right now," I explained to her.

She looked confused. "About what? Ducks? Because I've always wondered how they fly too."

I chuckled a little at that and she smiled at my laughter. Once it died away, I glanced away from her. "I'm confused about _us_, Britt. I don't get what's going on. Can we just... not speak for a bit? So I can get my head around this?"

She pulled her eyebrows together in confusion for a moment but her face relaxed soon afterwards. "Yeah, of course. I understand."

I gave her a tight lipped smile. "Thanks, Britt. I still think you're a great friend, you know?"

She smiled back sadly and nodded. "Yeah, I know."

"Thanks," I repeated before walked off and towards my car, wiping the tears from my face. I didn't feel like going to class right now. I was sure Britt would make an excuse for me.


	8. Taking out the Trash

I heard my phone buzzing beside me and threw my pillow over my head in an attempt to block out the noise but it didn't work. I had spent most of the day before ignoring the calls from college asking why I wasn't there and Quinn who was asking the same thing. I had been crying quietly practically the whole night and now, the next morning, I felt dehydrated.

I groaned as I lifted myself to sit on the edge of the bed and looked down to see my phone flashing a new message from Brittany. I had told her I didn't want to talk so what was she doing texting me? Maybe she didn't understand that texting was talking. But, once I picked up my phone and read the message, I felt guilty for doubting her intelligence.

**If you still don't want to talk, you don't have to come to work today, B x**

I smiled slightly. It was nice to know that she was respecting my wish but I quickly wiped away my smile. She shouldn't have been making me smile like that.

I threw my phone back onto my bed and stood up. There was no way I was going into work today if Brittany was willing to give me the day off. I didn't want to see her again. She made me feel sick and confused and I just wanted to avoid those feelings whatever the consequences were.

I walked to the kitchen, passing Quinn who was sitting on the couch and watching TV, to get myself some water. I walked back into the lounge and sat next to her, grabbing a corner of the blanket she was using to keep herself warm and pulling it over me.

"Are you not going into work today?" she asked me, eyes still focused on the TV.

I shook my head at her, taking a sip of my water. When I realised that she wasn't actually looking in my direction, I voiced my answer. "Nope."

"Are you and Brittany still fighting?"

I shrugged and leant forward to put my water on the coffee table next to her coffee. "We're not fighting. We're just not speaking."

She gave me an annoyed glance. "Don't you think you're being a little childish, Santana? Just go into work."

"She said I could have the day off. I'm not going."

I was looking at the TV but I could still feel her glare on me. "Santana, you are going to work."

I met her glare. "Oh? Am I?"

"If you don't go by yourself, I will _drag_ you there."

I snorted and shook my head. "No you won't."

"You wanna bet?"

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Sure."

It turns out that she was literally going to drag me to work. She grabbed my arm and tugged me off the couch, the blanket falling off us, up the stairs and into my room. She looked like she was about to undress me when I pushed her out of the room.

"I know you love me, Quinn," I shouted at her through the door as I pulled my top off. "But I don't feel that way about you. Sorry."

"Shut up, Lopez," she shouted back. "Get changed."

I almost smirked but instead I froze. I was becoming increasingly aware that almost everything I said could relate back to my situation with Brittany. Except, maybe with Brittany, I would be lying if I said I didn't feel that way about her. Maybe I did... No. I'm straight.

"San, you ready?"

I quickly pulled on some new underwear, a shirt and some jeans before opening my door to meet the stern face of one Quinn Fabray. Before I could even raise an eyebrow at her, she took my wrist and dragged me down the stairs and towards the apartment door. She pulled on a coat as I put on my shoes and then she practically threw me down the stairs of the apartment and stuffed me into the passenger seat of her car.

She got in the drivers side and started the car as I stared at her. "You are the worst friend in the world, you know that?"

She let her eyes settle on me for a moment with an annoyed expression on her face before looking at the road we were now driving down. "Sorry," she said sarcastically. "I didn't know it was a bad thing to force someone to go to work."

"It is when I'm not speaking to my boss," I growled, crossing my arms over my chest and looking out of my window.

"If you told me what was going on between you two, I might be able to judge whether or not you're being reasonable." She waited for a moment but, when I didn't reply, she sighed. "Fine. Until you tell me what's going on, you're going to go to work."

I refused to speak to her for the rest of the journey to the antique shop. She parked in the parking lot near the shop and pulled me out of the car.

"How did you know where this place was?" I muttered as we walked down the street.

"I got Rachel to tell me just in case you ever refused to come to work."

I huffed. It was annoying how well she knew me.

I paused when we got to the door of the antique shop but it wasn't long before Quinn pushed me inside and I was met by Brittany's surprised face. I stared at her as she stared back. Quinn stood just inside the shop door, looking between the two of us. When Brittany realised she was there, she smiled at her.

"Quinn, how are you?"

Quinn glanced at me one more time before focusing entirely on Brittany. "I'm fine. Can you tell me _why_ you and Santana aren't speaking?"

Brittany looked at me for a split second and I looked away. I could feel one of those rare blushes covering my face again.

"I think Santana should tell you why," I heard Brittany say quietly. She sounded so upset that I couldn't help but turn back to her.

"Britt, I'm sorry," I whispered. She looked up at me with shocked eyes but her face glowed a moment later. I smiled back at her, forgetting that I wasn't supposed to be feeling like this.

"Well, I guess I should go," Quinn said after a few more seconds, making her presence known to us again. She turned and walked out of the shop before either of us could reply.

So much for not speaking to Brittany.

* * *

It was a few hours after working when Brittany finally decided to make conversation. I was thankful that she was the one to start it because I honestly didn't have a clue what to say.

"We don't have to talk about... you know," she murmured as she cleaned one of the antique vases. "I'm not gonna pressure you. But I wanna talk to you about other stuff."

I admired her ability to say what she thought. If I could do that, we probably wouldn't be in this situation. I didn't know where exactly we would be but it probably wouldn't be as awkward as we were being now.

"I want to talk to you too, Britt," I said quietly.

She grinned at me. "Great." She paused for a minute with a thinking look on her face as she tried to come up with a conversation started. "What's your favourite colour?"

I laughed at the simple question. "Blue. What's yours?"

"Every colour," she said, grinning wider as she polished the vase. "If you leave one out, it might feel less special than all the other colours. What's your favourite TV programme?"

"Sweet Valley High. What's your favourite movie?"

"The Little Mermaid. What's your family like?"

I shrugged, leaning on the counter in an unconscious move to get closer to her. "They're okay. They don't really like that I'm doing music at college and my dad wants me to be more independent but they support me as much as they can. They live back in Lima." I paused for a minute and it caused Brittany to give me a concerned look.

"Do you miss them?" she asked.

I shrugged again, weakly this time. "A little. What about your family? What are they like?"

She froze and I frowned. Was that overstepping the line? But she had asked about my family, surely it was okay for me to do the same.

She shook her head as through to get rid of whatever had caused her to freeze and smiled shakily at me. "I don't really speak to them much. They've lived in California their whole lives and wont come up to visit. I didn't get along with them anyway."

"Why not?" I asked, unable to help myself from asking a question she was obviously trying to avoid.

"It doesn't matter," she muttered. "Do you have any siblings?"

"Nope. You?"

She froze again and I was worried that we were going to head back to that awkward place but she shook herself out of it again. "Kind of."

"Kind of?"

She gave me a patient smile and stopped polishing the vase. "Can we not talk about this anymore?"

I nodded even though I wanted to know more about her family. I knew she was hiding something. When I had looked her up I had seen that she grew up with her parents in Ohio, not California and, as much as I wanted to forget that I had been creeping on her, I couldn't let go of the fact that she was hiding something.

And what did 'kind of' mean? Maybe she just meant that she had a half brother or sister. Or a step sibling. I sighed and tried to rid myself of thinking too much. If she wanted to keep some things to herself, she could. I'd only known her for a week. I wasn't entitled to know everything about her anyway.

"What food do you like most?" I asked, trying to guide the conversation out of the awkwardness we had settled into.

She smiled at me, a hint of relief in her eyes. "I really like Dots. And Lucky Charms. What's your favourite food?"

"Breadsticks," I said, grinning. "Back in Lima, there was a restaurant where it was, like, _illegal_ to stop selling breadsticks. I loved that place."

She smiled back at me. "It sounds like a great place."

"It really is," I chuckled. "If there's one in New York, I'll take you."

She raised an eyebrow at me and I realised what I'd just said. I looked away from her as heat rushed up to my face. Not that I wouldn't want to got to a restaurant alone with Brittany but, given what our current (very confusing) situation was, it almost sounded like I was suggesting going on a date. Or maybe I was just over thinking things. But, when I looked back at Brittany and saw the smug smirk on her face, I knew she was thinking the same thing.

* * *

Unfortunately, I had forgotten that Quinn was the one who drove me to work and, after refusing to travel with Brittany on her bike, I called my best friend to come and pick me up.

It turned out that she had already thought ahead and she was walking through the shop door on the first ring of the phone. Right behind her was the thing. I glared at both of them whilst Brittany was by my side grinning brightly. Maybe that was what made my glare fade into a soft smile. Maybe.

"Hey, Britt," Rachel smiled. "Hey, Santana."

"Hello, Berry," I muttered, sparing her a glance before directing my attention towards Quinn. "Thanks for coming to pick me up."

Quinn smiled smugly. "I was going to leave you here until you asked Brittany to take you home but Rachel said she has a motorbike and, as much as you annoy me, I don't want you to die."

I was about to reply but Brittany cut me off with a determined look on her face. "I wouldn't let Sanny die."

I smiled at her. "I'm sure you wouldn't Britt-Britt."

I only noticed Quinn's shocked expression after I called Brittany by the pet name I had given her and it caused me to blush slightly.

"See what I mean?" I heard Rachel whisper in her ear.

Quinn nodded slowly, still looking at me with questioning eyes. She reluctantly turned her gaze away from me after a moment of awkward silence and it settled on Brittany. "Are you doing anything tonight?"

Brittany shook her head with just as confused expression on her face as I had on mine. "No, why?"

"Would you like to come over to dinner? It's just I think San gets a little lonely when I hang out with Rachel all the time."

My eyes widened in shock and I looked at Brittany as she looked at me. Sure, I hated it when Rachel came round and yes, maybe I was a little jealous that she occupied most of Quinn's time but I was fine on my own. I may rely on Quinn to do absolutely everything for me but I didn't need anyone to keep me company. Except Tubbs. But he doesn't really count since, you know, he's a cat.

Brittany must have read the expression on my face as me not wanting her to come over (which I guess it was) and she looked a little dejected as she turned back to Quinn. She gave her a little smile and shrugged. "Sorry but I saw you had a cat last time I came round and I'm allergic. I spent the whole night when I got back trying to stop sneezing and popping pills. Sorry."

Everyone looked surprised at that, including Rachel. "Wait, I thought you-"

Brittany coughed to cover up whatever it was Rachel was going to say and it didn't take a genius to figure out that she had been lying. Thankfully, Quinn didn't do anything to point it out and she just accepted that fact that Brittany didn't want to come round for dinner.

"I guess you shouldn't come round then," she said. "San spends most of her time with Tubbs anyway."

I saw Brittany wince when Quinn said Tubbs' name but I couldn't ask her why unless I wanted to make it obvious that I had been staring at her all the time that they'd been talking. Why would she wince anyway? Maybe she thought that we were insulting Tubbs? I shook my head and let it go, jumping over the counter to stand with Quinn and Rachel.

"I'll see you tomorrow," I told Brittany, hoping that Quinn got the hint and walked out of the shop. She did and I followed. Rachel, however, took a little more time to understand that we were leaving and stood in the shop for a few more minutes speaking to Brittany. Me and Quinn stood outside the door watching as Brittany's face gradually became more and more confused before I walked in again, grabbed Rachel's wrist, smiled apologetically at Brittany and then dragged the hobbit out.

"Can we go now?" I muttered.

Quinn chuckled and nodded as Rachel pulled away from me. She gave me a glare and walked ahead with Quinn whilst I looked back through the shop window at Brittany. She met my eyes and smiled softly at me. I smiled back and waved before running after my best friend and her annoying pet.

* * *

The next day, we were practicing the musical again. Mercedes had come up to me (with Sam scurrying along behind her. Seriously, that guy is like a puppy) and apologised. Apparently Quinn had had words with her and she realised that mine and Brittany's friendship was being affected by what she said. I guess, after everything, I still blamed her for what was happening between Brittany and I. Because without her making all of her inappropriate comments, that kiss might have never happened.

I couldn't help but think that maybe that wasn't at all true.

Mr Schue, Brittany and everyone else who had a big part in the play were on the stage whilst the rest of the class were practicing their parts.

"So, Brittany," Mr Schue said once we had all taken a seat. "Can you actually sing?"

Brittany laughed a little beside me. "Yes, I think so. My flatmates say I can anyway."

She had flatmates?

"Great," Mr Schue said enthusiastically and clapping his hands together. "Well, do you know any songs in Beauty and the Beast you can sing for us?"

Brittany frowned and shook her head slightly. It wasn't long before her face brightened up again though and it made me smile. "But I know all the songs from The Little Mermaid. I can sing one of those."

Mr Schue nodded, smiling at her enthusiasm just as I was. "Go for it."

Brittany grinned and leaned forward in her seat, spreading her arms as though gesturing to the whole of the stage. "Look at this stuff. Isn't it neat? Wouldn't you think my collections complete? Wouldn't you think I'm the girl who had everything?"

She stood up and looked around, pointing at everything in the theatre as she as she spun on her feet on the centre of the stage. "Look at this trove. Treasures untold. How many wonders can one cavern hold? Looking around here you think sure, she's got everything."

She pulled her phone and her change out of her pocket and everyone laughed as she continued to sing the song using them as props. "I've got gadgets and gizmos a-plenty. I've got whozits and whatzits galore. You want thingamabobs? I've got twenty! But no big deal. Who cares? I want more."

She paused for a moment to put her things back in her coat pockets and then walked up to me with a small smirk on her face. She grabbed my hand and pulled me to my feet. "I wanna be where the people are. I wanna see, wanna see them dancin'." She twirled me around and stopped me when I got halfway. I laughed as she pushed me forward slightly, getting me to walk. "Walking around on those- what do you call 'em?" She bent down and prodded my boots. "Oh- feet!"

I laughed along with the rest of the class as she continued to pull me and push me around the stage like a prop. She had a beautiful voice and I knew Mr Schue thought the same because, when Brittany finished, he was on his feet and clapping as he laughed. Brittany smiled and I thought that too was beautiful. I frowned at the thought and shook it off. I shouldn't have thought that.

"Well done," Mr Schue chuckled. "That was brilliant, Brittany. I think you'll be a wonderful addition to the play. And the way that you and Santana get along is fantastic. You'll have amazing chemistry on stage. I think this will be the best play I've ever done."

I rolled my eyes at him as Brittany's smile widened and the class continued with everyone complementing Brittany on her singing. A lot of them said that we were great on stage together and it made me worry. If everyone else thought that, it wouldn't take long for Mercedes to make a comment on it and things would be awkward between me and Brittany again.

But, when she came over, she just had a genuine smile on her face. "You guys looked great on the stage. Brittany, you're a great singer."

Brittany blushed. "Thank you."

Mercedes smiled again and then walked off with Sam to practise her part.

"So," Brittany started, turning towards me and biting her lip nervously. "What did you think?"

"About your singing?" I asked. She nodded. I paused for a moment and looked away. "I think you have an amazing voice."

When I looked back at her, her eyes were wide and her cheeks were bright red. She was about to say something but Mr Schue spoke before she could.

"Everyone was great today," he shouted so everyone could hear him. "Next Tuesday, we'll start the actual rehearsals so I expect everyone to know their lines for the first scene. Thanks guys."

Everyone started filing out and, before Brittany could talk to me about the comment I made, I said bye and ran out of the theatre with my bag to go to my other classes.

* * *

I guess I shouldn't have been surprised that Brittany was waiting for me when I walked out of the college entrance since she'd done it practically everyday since she started working with Mr Schue but I was surprised. Maybe it was because I had managed to convince myself in my last two classes that Brittany _wouldn't_ be waiting for me or maybe it was because she had jumped me out of seemingly nowhere.

"Fuck, Britt!" I cried, trying to stay on my feet with her arms around my neck. "What was that for?"

She pulled back and grinned widely. "You said I have an amazing voice."

I blushed and looked at anything that wasn't her eyes. "Well, it's true."

"Thank you."

When I met her eyes again, I couldn't help but smile. She looked so happy and it was all because of what I said. I couldn't even bring myself to care when she grabbed my hands and pulled me towards the parking lot where, again, her bike was parked next to my car. Either she did it on purpose or I was subconsciously trying to stay close to her. I hoped it was the former.

"Do you want a ride?" I heard her say.

I cringed as I looked at the motorbike and shook my head. "Nope. Not in a million years." I paused for a minute. "Do you want a ride in my car?"

She laughed and I raised an eyebrow, waiting for her to explain herself. "I think I'd be safer on my bike. You drive like you have a death wish."

I frowned. "When have you seen-"

We both stood in awkward silence as we remembered Monday and my desperate attempt to get as far away from Brittany as I could. Luckily, Brittany wasn't planning on lingering on the thought longer than me.

"I was wondering if, instead of working tonight, you might want to work over the weekend?"

I frowned again. "Why?"

She shrugged. "Well, tonight you only work a few hours and over the weekend you'll work more. Which means more money for you and more San-time for me."

My eyes widened as she grinned and, not for the first time, I wondered how she could be so open with her thoughts. "Erm... Sure. I don't think I'm doing anything."

She grinned brighter and clapped her hands together as she bounced on her toes. "Yay. We're gonna have so much fun."

I wondered how much fun we could actually have at work but refrained from asking the question because she just looked so damn happy. And hell if I was gonna say anything to ruin that. Her smile was probably the only thing that made my day. The thought should have worried me but I found myself being less bothered by the fact that she may now be the be the best thing in my life.

I smiled back at her. "I'll see you tomorrow, then."

She nodded, still grinning, and slipped on her helmet. I got into my car and pulled out, waving goodbye to Brittany and unable to stop my smile from growing wider.

* * *

The next couple of days passed quickly and I think I had Brittany to thank for that. She just seemed to make the whole world spin faster and she made work seem fun. And that's coming from someone who is completely dependent on her best friend and her father.

I don't know what it was but she always managed to make me smile and laugh and the customers loved her. They always left with a smile. Even Quinn, who I always thought was a judgemental bitch with a stick up her ass to anyone but Rachel, myself and Puck, found Brittany to be 'a breath of fresh air.'

I couldn't ignore the fact that we were almost constantly flirting with each other and that our compliments went beyond friendly but I couldn't really bring myself to be worried over them. And, by Sunday afternoon at closing time, I accepted that I probably had a crush on Brittany. No, I wasn't ready to tell anyone about it but I was proud that I could at least think it to myself.

But, just because I had a crush on Brittany, didn't mean I was prepared for the kiss she gave me as we stood next to the shop door saying goodbye.

She pulled back quickly and held a hand over her mouth. "Sorry! I'm sorry. I couldn't help it. It's just-"

I smiled a little at her being in a panic and she relaxed when she saw I was fine. "It's okay," I shrugged, smiling a little brighter. "I liked it."

I blushed as she grinned. "Really?"

I nodded and she giggled. I thought it was the most adorable thing in the world but stopped thinking when she leant in to peck my lips again. I kissed her back quickly and pulled away a little, my arms around her neck.

"I'll see you on Tuesday," I said quietly, still looking at her lips. She nodded and kissed me again. I felt a laugh bubbling up inside me and pulled away to let it out. She gave me a confused look and I calmed myself down to explain. "I'm just so happy."

"Me too," she smiled, bouncing slightly on her feet.

"I'll see you Tuesday," I said again.

"See you Tuesday," she mimicked and I pulled away from her fully, grinning at her before walking out of the shop.

I was not prepared to see Rachel leaning on the wall outside.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, a little panicked. Had she seen me and Brittany kissing? Oh fuck! I forgot to tell Brittany not to tell anyone. What if she was already calling her friends? What if she told Sugar? Then Sugar would tell Mercedes and Mercedes would tell Quinn. Oh my God, if Quinn found out, I was screwed.

"I'm going out for a meal with Britt," Rachel said, interrupting my thoughts. "Are you okay, Santana? You look really pale."

I nodded quickly, feeling a little sick with the overwhelming feeling of being found out. I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. Brittany wasn't going to tell anyone that we'd kissed. She knew how I felt about being gay. I had made it only too clear when I pushed her away. She wasn't stupid. She wouldn't tell anyone.

"- because I remember when Quinn had it and she had a fever and had to go to the hospital. You remember though, right? You were with us."

I raised an eyebrow at her having completely missed the first part of her one-sided conversation. "What?"

"When Quinn had the flu," Rachel said. "I'm just saying because if you have it too you should probably just go home and-"

"Rachel, I'm fine," I assured her, rolling my eyes. "Have a nice dinner. I'll see you whenever."

She looked at me weirdly, probably because I was being nice, as I walked down the block towards the car lot. I got into my car and tried once again to convince myself that Brittany wasn't going to tell anyone we'd kissed.

* * *

"Quinn? You home?"

She didn't answer so I assumed she wasn't as I walked into the lounge. I almost jumped out of my skin when I saw her sitting on the couch and glaring at me. She got up and walked over to me, using the extra inch she had on me to try and intimidate me. It was working.

"What did you do to Puck?" she growled.

I frowned in confusion, trying to remember the last time I had seen Puck. Oh yeah. It had been when he was shirtless and making out with a complete dickhead. I crossed my arms over my chest as I looked Quinn in the eyes. "I haven't done anything to him."

She took a step closet to me and a scowl crawled onto her face. "He came round today asking where you were and said that you two had a fight last time you saw each other. You never told me about that, Santana. Now, tell me, what did you do to Puck?"

I gulped, seeing the deadly glint in her eyes and tried to step back. Somehow, though, I had managed to get myself trapped between Quinn and a wall. I held my bag in front of me for protection, just in case she decided to kill me.

"I can't tell you," I whimpered, closing my eyes tightly.

"Why not?"

"It's kinda Puck's secret. Sorry. He's the one who'll have to tell you."

She sighed in frustration and I felt her back away. I opened my eyes again and saw her walking back towards to couch. "Fine, just go and apologise to him."

"But-"

"Santana," she growled, narrowing her eyes at me.

I hesitated for just a second before walking out of the room with the intention of going to Puck and begging him for forgiveness. I did not want to be on the receiving end of Quinn Fabray's wrath.

* * *

"_You_ forgive _me_?"

I rolled my eyes. Honestly, I didn't understand why he was finding this concept so hard to grasp. "Yes, Puck. I forgive you."

"I think you're the one that needs to apologise," he muttered. I don't think he intended for me to hear but I heard anyway.

"What?" I growled.

His face grew pale and he took a step away from me. "Nothing, San. I'm just glad that you've forgiven me is all... Hugs?"

He held out his arms and put on a sheepish smile. I rolled my eyes and decided to let what he said go, walking towards him and letting him embrace me tightly.

Then I was aware of him breathing in through his nose.

"Mmm, San," he whispered and I could literally hear the smirk in his voice. "You smell nice."

I pulled away and punched him softly in the chest. "Don't be weird, freak."

"Ow," he whined, rubbing his chest like I'd actually hurt him. I knew I hadn't though because he had a grin on his face. "I only said you smelt nice."

"Well don't."

"Like, really nice," he smirked, licking his lips.

I frowned. Normally I'd be okay with him making comments like these. It was _Puck_. I mean, he jumps on anything that moves (as was proven by last Sunday) so I was used to the flirty complements. But, for some reason, now it made me feel guilty. I smiled when I realised it probably had something to do with Brittany.

"Puck, stop," I said seriously, wiping the smile off my face and replacing it with a stern expression. "Anyway, I thought you were king of the gays now?"

He narrowed his eyes a little at me. "Just because you caught me with a guys tongue down my throat doesn't mean I'm gay?"

I scoffed. "It kinda does."

He looked away with a red face and I didn't know whether he was angry or embarrassed. He said something quietly.

"Sorry, what was that?" I asked him, stepping closer to hear him better.

He looked up to meet my eyes. "I said I think I might be bi."

I was a shocked that he confided in me but quickly replaced my gaping mouth with a smile as I hugged him again, careful to pull back quickly enough so he wouldn't make any inappropriate comments. "I'm proud of you, Puck."

He smiled back at me. "Thanks, San. Can you not tell anyone else yet? I want to tell them myself."

I nodded. "Sure. But tell Quinn soon because I think she might murder me in my sleep if she doesn't find out what's going on."

He laughed. "I will."

"See yah later, Puck."

He waved a hand at me. "Bye, San."

I walked down the stairs and left the apartment block through the door that led to the street. I had decided to walk to Puck's apartment instead of driving since it was only a few of blocks away and I had needed time to think about how I was going to apologise.

"What are you doing here?" I heard a voice growl from behind me.

I turned around and looked up. "Oh, it's Frankenteen. Seriously, are you stalking me or something because you are _always_ around me?"

Finn scowled. "I was here to see Puck."

"Oh, your new fuck buddy?" I asked, stepping up to him. "Why don't you just leave Puck alone, dork?"

"What's it to you?" he growled, glaring down on me. I found it strange how Quinn was inches smaller than him but she still managed to be intimidating. This guy was about as intimidating as a kitten.

"Puck's my best friend," I answered. "And if you hurt him, I will kick your homophobic ass all the way to the fucking moon. Do you understand or do I need to tattoo it to your freakishly small head?"

I saw his fists ball up and I smirked.

"Don't make me hit you," he sneered.

"Oh, you can hit me," I said. "I'll just cut off your balls afterwards and sell them to some guy who might actually _need_ them."

He swung at me. Honestly, I didn't see it coming. Well, I _saw_ it coming but I didn't expect Finn to throw a punch at me. I managed to avoid it though and I punched him right back in his face.

I was sitting on top of him, holding his hands behind his back and telling him to admit he was gay when Puck came out.

"Santana, what are you doing?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

I looked over my shoulder at him and saw his eyes widen. I think it might have been because of the few cuts and bruises I had on my face. Finn had more, don't worry.

"Just taking out the trash," I answered, twisting Finn's hands at an awkward angle. He cried out and I leant back over him to shout in his ear. "Admit you're gay. I'm trying to help you to accept yourself-"

I was interrupted when I felt Puck grab the back of my coat and hoist me off of Finn. The taller boy lay on the ground for a moment longer before groaning as he lifted himself up. He glared at me but obviously didn't have the energy to say anything as he leant against a wall.

I heard Puck's gasp when he saw Finn's face and felt a proud smirk appear on my face. That's how we do it in Lima Heights!

"Santana, go home right now," Puck growled. I turned to him, about to retort but when I saw the anger on his face I hesitated.

I looked in Finns direction and sneered at him. He looked away quickly and I smirked again as I walked away. But the smirk fell away when I passed a shop window. I had a huge bruise spreading across my cheek and some deep cuts on my chin and forehead as well as little scratches everywhere else. Quinn was going to kill me when I got home.

* * *

_**Author's Note: After watching the Youtube video where Heather Morris was singing along to Part of That World, I had to include it in the story. Anyway, sorry if this chapter seems a little rushed. I'm just trying to get ahead with the story because this is the eighth chapter and I realised that it's barely even started. **_


	9. I Can't Breathe

It turned out that Quinn didn't actually want to kill me and I was surprised when she asked me if I'd beat Finn's ass. She had smiled when I said I did and then tried her best to help the swelling on my face. I didn't tell her the reason for me fighting Finn (that was Puck's story to tell) but I think she thought it was about her and Rachel. After all, that's what we'd been fighting about before.

I had gone to college on Monday with a black eye and two huge cuts on my face but no one seemed to question it. Apparently, word had got round that I liked to start fights. I wasn't going to deny it because everyone was making sure to stay the hell out of my way.

I was a little sad when I got into my car at the end of the day having not seen Brittany at all. I realised that, since I'd met her, I'd seen her practically every day. So, as I pulled out of my space, I thought that perhaps it was a good thing that today I had gone without her. Still, it didn't stop my chest from hurting at the realisation that I wasn't going to see her.

By the time that I was parked in the apartment car lot, I came to the conclusion that I was being ridiculous. I had known Brittany for less than two weeks and I was being a little clingy already. I walked up to the entrance of the apartment block, deciding to just forget about it.

"Santana, Rachel's coming over in an hour," Quinn shouted at me when I closed our apartment door. "We're going out for dinner so go and get changed."

I almost rolled my eyes at the motherly tone in my voice but seeing Quinn in the lounge stopped me. She glared at me like she knew what I was about to do. I just smiled sweetly at her.

"Yes, mommy," I said, faking a child's voice. Her eyes narrowed further and I could feel her trying to burn holes in my back as I walked up the stairs.

I was a little disturbed when I entered my room and found that Quinn had laid out an outfit for me on my bed. She really did treat me like I was a kid and it annoyed me that I was so dependent on her. In fact, I'm sure that if she and Rachel looked older than they actually were, no one would have any trouble believing that I was their daughter.

I guessed we were going somewhere fancy because my outfit consisted of a little black cocktail dress and some heels. I put my bag on my desk and quickly grabbed a towel. In the hour I had, I managed to shower, change, dry my hair and curl it and be downstairs before Rachel even knocked. Quinn looked surprised that I hadn't argued with her yet about the dinner but I was just happy to have something to do instead of sitting in my room alone and thinking of Brittany all night.

She looked like she was about to say something but then we heard the knock on the door and she just gave me one more confused but slightly concerned glance before she walked out of the lounge to answer it. I heard her talking to Rachel for a few minutes and then call me.

"Santana, come on."

I got to my feet and headed to the hallway where I pulled on some heels that Quinn handed to me. After that, she also handed me my purse. I blushed a little, feeling a lot like a child going to dinner with her parents. It was embarrassing how much I depended on Quinn.

We left the apartment and climbed into Rachel's car; me in the back and the couple in the front. I kept quiet and just looked out of the window as Rachel drove us to the fancy restaurant that she had picked out. I hoped it wasn't that expensive. Even with the money that my dad was still giving me and the money that Brittany would pay me at the end of the month, I still couldn't really afford to splash out.

* * *

We entered the restaurant and I silently thanked Quinn for picking out my outfit. Everyone there looked really posh and, if she had let me pick it out myself, I probably would have just flung on some short shorts and a shirt.

We were led to a table next to the windows by the waitress and she took our drink orders as we picked up the menus. I decided to have pasta and Rachel and Quinn had some vegan type food that I wouldn't eat if my life depended on it. While we waited for our meals, I listened Quinn and Rachel talk and for some reason it got me thinking about Brittany.

I doubt she had told anyone about the developments in our friendship and I hoped I was right. Rachel didn't seem to be treating me any different than usual and, from what I gathered, Rachel was Brittany's closest friend. Or maybe Sugar was. Either way, I would know if Brittany had told anyone because Sugar seemed like a gossip and she had Mercedes' number. And everyone knows the anything Mercedes hears might as well be broadcast of worldwide news.

I wondered if, one day, Brittany and I could sit in a restaurant and just talk and smile at each other and hold each others hands like Rachel and Quinn were doing now. But, who am I kidding? Me and Brittany only kissed, nothing more. Either one of us could take back the action with a few simple words and it need never be spoken of again. We were nowhere near going on dates or dinners with friends.

Not that I'd want to.

I don't plan on telling anyone about my girl crush anytime soon.

The waitress came back to the table with our plates and we dug into the food. I tried my best not to just gulp everything down at once and eat it sensibly so that the posh guys sitting on the table across from us didn't give us strange looks.

I remembered that I still needed to ask Rachel about something. "Rachel?"

She looked up at me and finished eating a mouthful of food before replying. "Yes, Santana?"

"Can you write me a song?"

My friend and her girlfriend both looked at me like I had grown a second head. I resisted the urge to turn and check that I hadn't and waited for an answer.

"Why?" Quinn asked when Rachel didn't reply.

"It's a college project. We're supposed to write original songs."

Quinn's eyes narrowed slightly in anger but I ignored her and set my sights on Rachel again who shifted uncomfortably. "Well, Santana," she started. "I think that it would be good for you to create a song that you can personally relate to. You could perhaps mention the past week which, we have seen, has been something of a turmoil wreck for you-"

"In other words," Quinn interrupted, smiling sweetly at her girlfriend in a way that I knew would prevent an argument about the interruption later, "she's not going to write your damned song."

My shoulders slumped over and I took a huge mouthful of pasta to rid myself of the temptation of insulting Quinn. She had been kind enough to include me in on the meal and, even though it was a little awkward, I couldn't help but be grateful. If I wasn't here, I might have spent the entire night trying to call Brittany.

I stayed quiet for most of the meal, every once in a while giving my opinion on something that either of the two women opposite me said or nodding in agreement. Quinn kept shooting me concerned looks but I ignored them. She'd probably manage to force her way into my room when Rachel was no longer around and demand to know what was going on.

I noted to myself that it might be a good idea to push my dresser in front of the door when we got back to the apartment.

* * *

I was sitting on my bed in some sweats and a tank top with a book in one hand and my other hand stroking Tubbs who was sitting on my lap. I had managed to push my dresser in front of the door with a considerable amount of effort. I hadn't known when I brought it that it was so heavy having relied on Quinn and Puck to move it into my room. They made it look a lot easier than it was.

I really didn't want Quinn to ask me about why I was so distant lately. I knew that she'd see through any lies that I told her but I couldn't tell her the truth. If I told her that I had a crush on a girl, she'd feel betrayed. After everything we had gone through together in high school, I don't think she'd forgive me for suddenly crushing on a girl.

As I stroked Tubbs under his chin and felt his stomach rumble against me as he purred, I remembered Brittany's face when Quinn had mentioned Tubbs' name. I looked down at my furry friend and remembered the day I found him. Only fifteen or twenty minutes after I had picked him up, I had seen Brittany. Or the person I assumed was Brittany.

I tried to think back to that day and I pictured the shocked teary face of the young girl in my mind when she saw Tubbs on my shoulder. Did she know who Tubbs was? Had she known the family that had been in that burnt out building? I closed my eyes and sighed in frustration. Brittany was one of the most confusing people I had ever met.

First she acted like we had never met before. Then she claims to have never been to Ohio even though I knew for a fact that she grew up there. She had a _kind of_ sibling. And she has a connection to Lord Tubbington somehow.

I didn't know why she was trying so hard to hide who she was from me and I didn't know if I actually wanted to know why. To be honest, I was starting to wonder whether I really should have been thankful to Rachel for getting me the job at the antique shop.

It wasn't that I didn't like Brittany. I did. I _really _did. I just couldn't deal with all the confusion she was placing on me; not just about my sexuality but about her past and about my friendship with Quinn. I didn't know if Quinn would love me just as much as she did now if I told her about Brittany.

I was more thankful than I had ever been that night to blast my music through my headphones at full volume to drown out Rachel's moans because I knew that it meant my best friend wasn't going to come into my room and interrogate me about my life.

* * *

The next day, I managed to avoid Quinn and any early morning interrogations but I completely forgot that Brittany hadn't yet seen the mess that was my face so, when I walked into the theatre after my lunch break, I wasn't prepared for the concern that she displayed.

"Santana," she gasped, studying my face closely and making me flush. "What happened to your face?"

I decided to play it off cool and smirked. "You should see the other guy."

And, just as I said it, Finn walked into the theatre with his arm all bandaged up and stitches in his lip. Half of his face looked extremely swollen and, from what I could see, he was missing a patch of hair. He glowered at me as he took a seat near the stage. My smirk grew until I saw the look of disapproval that Brittany was sending my way. My face instantly fell.

"Why did you beat up Finn?" she asked me, frowning at me. I felt like a child being scolded and it surprised me how much everyone around me treated me like I was nothing but a kid.

I just shrugged my shoulders at her and took a seat next to Mercedes. Brittany sat next to me and didn't bring up the topic again. I was a little thankful that she had to leave my side five minutes into the lesson to start the first scene of the play which I wasn't involved in. I didn't want her to ask me about Finn again because I had a feeling that, if she asked me enough times, I'd willingly spill everything to her. Also, I was slightly apprehensive about her bringing up the topic of _us_ and, when it came to gossip, Mercedes had an incredible hearing ability.

I watched as Brittany climbed onto the stage and threw an apologetic glance in Finn's direction for taking his part. I narrowed my eyes at the back of his head, not glaring but deep in thought.

I was a lot like him, wasn't I? I was willing to be in some kind of a... _relationship_ with someone of my own sex but not so willing to tell everyone about it, just like he was. If he knew what was going on between me and Brittany, would he defend her just like I had defended Puck? I frowned at that thought, thinking that Brittany didn't need to be defended by anyone other than me and I would never do anything to hurt her. My own protectiveness over her shocked me and I sat rigid in my seat for almost the entire lesson, trying to make sense of my confused emotions.

* * *

I followed Brittany to work once college was finished and, watching her on her bike swerving between the cars, I thought I was going to have a panic attack. I kept imagining her falling off her bike and into one of the cars but she was in complete control of the bike like a professional. Which I guess she was. She said that she had been on a motocross team.

However, no matter how professional she was at riding a motorbike, I still worried. It didn't help that all she was wearing was a pair of cargo pants and a shirt. Not that she didn't look hot with all her hair blowing in the wind and a pair of sunglasses covering her eyes with a huge smile on her face but, seriously? She could at least wear a helmet.

I told her this when I got out of my car in the parking lot and she just laughed at me. "I've been riding this heap of junk for three years, Santana," she said, trying to assure me. "I'm not going to fall off. But, if it makes you happy, next time I'll wear the helmet. That's Quinn.

"Thank you," I mumbled as we walked down the block to her shop.

She grinned at me in return. "No problem, Sanny. I'm happy that you care about me."

I was blushing bright red whilst she opened up the shop and unlocked the door. She held the door open for me and it made me glow redder as I thanked her and walked in. She giggled as she entered behind me. I watched as she hopped over the counter and walked into the back room. I did the same and watched her sort through a load of papers at the desk.

I broke the silence a few minutes in. "Erm, Brittany?"

She looked up, concern flashing in her eyes. "Yeah? What's wrong?"

I glanced away from her eyes, feeling nervous. "About Sunday, you haven't told anyone have you?"

She frowned a little when I turned my eyes back to her and I worried that she had. But she shook her head and I let out a sigh of relief. "I wouldn't tell anyone. You think you're straight. If I told people that you kissed me, they'd think you weren't straight and then you'd get all this unwanted attention. I don't want to force you out of the cupboard, Santana," she ended, shrugging her shoulders.

I decided not to correct her for using the word cupboard instead of closet and smiled instead. "Thank you, Britt-Britt."

She grinned up at me from the desk and she looked so cute that I had a hard time not kissing her there and then. But I was very aware of the open door and the window in the back room.

"I was wondering..." Brittany started and I raised an eyebrow, suspicious and urging her to continue. "Would you like to, maybe, go on a, kind of like a... date?"

I could have drowned in her adorability as she stuttered out the question had it not made me freeze. She just asked me out on a date. That would be in public.

"Britt-" I started but she immediately cut me off.

"It will just be like we're friends," she blurted, her face growing red and her hands gripping the edge of her desk so tight her knuckles were white. "We can just go to a meal and the movies. Or you could come over to my apartment and I'll cook you dinner. We don't have to act like it's a proper date if you're uncomfortable with it."

I found her rambling sweet but thought that maybe it was time I cut her off before she said something that would embarrass her. "Britt, I think that's a great idea."

She paused for a minute, staring at me. Then her mouth frowned a bit and she tilted her head to the side. "Which idea? The meal and movies or the cooked dinner?"

I didn't think that my smile could get any bigger but it somehow managed to achieve the impossible. "The cooked dinner. I'd love to try something you made."

Her confused face spread into a grin and her nose crinkled up adorably. "Great. I'll text you about it when I find out when my flatmates are out."

I nodded, feeling excitement boil up in my stomach at the thought of having a date with Brittany. I know it should have scared me because I was so against the idea of crushing even more on her but I couldn't think of anything more perfect than sitting with Brittany in her apartment and eating something that she cooked especially for me.

For the rest of my shift, I smiled happily and all the customers left as though they had been served by Brittany; with an equally cheerful smile. It made me think that Brittany was like a goddess. She really could make anyone happy.

* * *

Brittany texted me at around eight that her flatmates would be out on Saturday and that she'd come and pick me up at around five on the day. I wondered briefly if she was going to try and make me ride on her bike but she sent a quick text after the first stating that she was going to pick me up in a car she'd borrowed from one of her friends.

I was so happy about how my day had turned out that I almost forgot that I was supposed to write an original song. I sat at my dresser (which I had moved back against the wall in the morning) surrounded by paper and pens. I had typed into Google 'how to write a song' but, to be honest, none of the links really helped me that much. I ended up just writing down a bunch of things that Brittany made me feel and putting them all into the form of lyrics. Overall, my song was five lines long but I didn't give a crap about what Mr Schue thought of it. All I could say was that I had tried.

* * *

I climbed onto the stage and felt my palms grow sweaty. I had never felt like this before. Normally, I was confident in my voice and my talent but today I felt shaky and nervous. I think that Brittany sitting in the front row might have had something to do with it but I also blamed the other twenty or so judgemental eyes watching me from the audience.

I held the microphone and took a deep breath.

"I can't breathe," I sang, breathing out the words in my usual breathy voice. I found Brittany's eyes as I sang and they seemed to keep me grounded, like looking at her made me confident again. I smiled slightly as I continued to sing. "And I haven't been getting much sleep now for days."

Brittany was grinning up at me and it made me feel like I was singing just to her, not a room full of students who were probably bored and just waiting for the chance when they got to shine. She looked genuinely interested in what I was singing and it made me feel more special than anyone else in the room.

"I am blind beyond your face. I am deaf beyond your words and beyond your voice." I smiled a little more as I sang, thinking that all the words I was saying were true. The only person who existed in this moment and time was Brittany and I wasn't scared of anyone else watching judging me or thinking I was strange. "I don't want anyone else, I just want you."

I paused for a little bit, allowing the band that had been playing a steady tune behind me to fill the theatre. After a few beats, I sung my last line. "I don't want to drown, but I'll drown in your eyes."

When the band stopped playing and I stepped away from the microphone everyone but Brittany started to clap. I think the only reason she wasn't clapping was because we were still staring into each others eyes and I think she may have been as lost in mine as I was in hers and I was unable to tear myself away. The thing that managed to break the spell I seemed to be under was Mr Schue who walked onto the stage and clapped his hands in a way that I had always found patronizing.

"Well done, Santana," he said, a big grin on his face. "You have successfully proven that it is quality and _not_ quantity that makes a song great. Mercedes, you're up next."

I blushed when I realised that I had practically been having eye sex with Brittany in a room full of my classmates but, looking at Mercedes, she didn't seem to have noticed anything so I ignored the paranoid feeling in my gut and went to sit next to Brittany and my friend sung her song 'Hell to the No.'

"You have an awesome voice," Brittany whispered in my ear and I felt heat washing over my face as I turned to her. She was wearing a genuine smile and it made me smile back at her.

"Thanks, Britt-Britt," I murmured. "You're voice is pretty great too."

She giggled a bit at that and her cheeks were tinged with red. "Well then, I'm sure we'll make an awesome Beauty and the Beast."

I grinned at her and we continued to talk throughout everyone else's performances. It was probably rude and I noticed Mr Schue sending us annoyed glances from where he stood in the wings of the stage but I didn't want to stop listening to Brittany's voice. It was probably the best noise in the world.

* * *

As I walked out of the theatre, I was gripped by the arm and pulled into a classroom. I had grown used to Brittany just appearing out of places and trying to spook me out so it didn't shock me as much as it would have a few days ago.

Except, when I turned around, I _was_ shocked. Finn stood in Brittany's place and, instead of her lovely and bubbly grin, all I saw was his constipated sneer.

"What do you want, Finnocence?" I growled, pulling my arm out of his grip and folding both of them over my chest.

He growled and stepped closer to me. I could see his fists tightening and there was a vein that looked like it was going to pop out of his forehead. He managed to succeed in looking pretty damn angry.

"I saw the way you were looking at Brittany," he hissed and I froze. "You're a fucking hypocrite. You beat me up to get me to admit that I'm gay and you're here hiding behind your own locked door."

This was bad. Finn couldn't know about me and Brittany. What if he told Puck? Puck would tell Quinn and then Quinn would absolutely hate me. Fucking _hate_ me. I had to play this cool. I had to act like I didn't have a clue what he was talking about; feign ignorance.

"I don't have a clue what you're talking about," I sneered.

He laughed coldly. "I think you do, Santana. You like Brittany. You're a fucking _dyke_!"

I felt my chest strain under his words and it became really hard to breathe. He wasn't allowed to know that I liked Brittany. Was he going to tell everybody? I wouldn't put it past him. Then again, I knew that he was gay. If he told on me, I'd tell on him.

"What are you going to do?" I scowled. "You can't tell anyone. Don't forget, I know your dirty little secret too."

He smirked. Actually _smirked_. Like he had one up on me. He leant in so close that I could smell his bad breathe as he whispered in my ear. "But if you tell on me, you're telling on Puck. Brittany isn't my 'best friend', she's just a fit girl who's willing to put out for practically anyone."

My jaw tightened at that. "Don't talk about her like that."

"Like what?" he chuckled, standing upright again. "Like the whore that she is? What do you actually know about Brittany, Santana? Like, what do you really know? Because I don't have a clue about her and neither does Rachel and we've known her for years. Do you _know_ who Brittany is?"

I couldn't answer his question because, the truth was, I didn't know who Brittany was. I had been asking myself that very same question since the day we met. _Who was Brittany S. Pierce?_ I couldn't even look Finn in the eye as he grinned down at me, eyes full of triumph.

"See, you don't have a clue either. For all you know, she's some kind of hoe or a murderer or a dealer. I'm not afraid to tell everyone what you are, Lopez. So, from now on, you're going to stay the fuck out of mine and Puck's business got it?"

I nodded my head silently and watched him walk out of the room. I felt myself shaking because he was right. Brittany could be anyone. She was lying to me. Tears flooded my eyes as I left the room and raced down the hallways. I wasn't going to my classes now. I wanted to go home.

* * *

"Did you have another fight with Brittany?"

I shook my head to answer Quinn's question. I was lying on her lap on the couch. She was running a hand through my hair in an attempt to comfort me but it wasn't really working. Since I'd gotten home from college, I'd cried non-stop. Quinn had called up Brittany and said that I wouldn't be able to go to work because I was ill. I had tried to stop her but she insisted that I was in no state to work. Brittany had told her that it was okay but tomorrow I was going to be working on my own because she had to teach a class at the dance studio. She said that she'd give Rachel the keys to drop round later.

"San, talk to me," Quinn said, her voice drowning in concern. "What's going on?"

I shook my head. I couldn't tell her what was happening. If I told her what Finn said, I'd have to explain everything; how Puck was bi, how I was crushing on Brittany, how Brittany probably wasn't the perfect person she pretended to be. However, no matter how much Finn had reinstated that fact in my mind, I still thought she was an angel. She was just an angel without her wings. Everyone had secrets that they want to hide and, just because we'd kissed a few times, didn't mean that I was entitled to know every detail about her life.

After another half hour or so, I started to calm down. My sobbing subsided and turned into pathetic weeping which then subsided to become silent tears making tracks down my face. I couldn't help but think that, although these last three weeks had been the best of my life, they'd also produced more tears than I'd ever cried before.

As those tears began to clear however, I noticed a small box on the coffee table. I frowned at it and reached out to grab it. Quinn didn't seem to notice and I opened it before she realised. Inside sat a diamond ring and I gasped as I realised what it meant.

"Quinn, you're not going to-"

She snatched the box off me and glared down at me. "Don't even dare," she growled.

"-propose?"

Her glare softened ever so slightly and she glanced at the box in the hand before looking back at me. "Not for a while yet but I will eventually. When I get the guts."

I shook my head on her lap. "You're too young to get married," I muttered.

She chuckled. "I know. But Rachel's the love of my life and I honestly don't think I'll find anyone better than her. Plus, proposing doesn't mean that we'll get married straight away. Rachel say's that she wants to wait until she's twenty-five."

I shook my head again. "She has everything planned out, doesn't she?"

Quinn's smile was admirable as she continued to stare at the box in her hand with a loving expression. I wished that I'd wear that look someday and, for the briefest instant, I thought about wearing it with Brittany in mind but quickly banished the thought. I couldn't fall in love with Brittany. There were just so many things wrong with that.

* * *

I woke up on Thursday morning feeling depressed. I wasn't going to see Brittany today. I reasoned with myself that I'd managed to live without her before so I could do it for one day now. But the idea of spending eight hours in a shop that basically had 'Brittany' printed all over it was a little daunting and I knew that I was in for some heartache.

I had a shower and got dressed. Rachel had come round last night to drop off the shop key and she said that she'd stop by the shop some time today to see how I was doing and then she'd take the key back to Brittany again when I locked up. I normally would have felt annoyed that Rachel was going to invade the place I worked with her flamboyant personality but I actually felt relieved. Having Rachel annoy the hell out of me was going to be better than hopelessly daydreaming about Brittany all day.

I walked down to the parking lot and got into my car. I still felt a little tired but I had a hunch that it was because I was simply dreading a day of work without Brittany.

That day, hardly any of the customers left with a smile on their face and it reinforced my idea that Brittany was a goddess of some sort. With her, everyone was happy. And without her, everyone was just plain miserable.

* * *

Rachel came into the shop to cheer me up (although I'd never actually admit that she did) about an hour before closing time. She stood with me behind the counter and chatted away. I barely had any input into the conversations she was making, simply nodding my head at her pauses or saying a 'yes' or a 'no' when appropriate.

I considered telling her about Quinn's proposal plans but rethought the idea. Rachel was probably smart enough to realise that they were still both far too young for marriage and that they had all the time in the world to consider what they wanted to do with their futures. Plus, Quinn said that she didn't actually know when she was going to propose but it wasn't going to be in the near future so I didn't see the point in warning her girlfriend if it wasn't going to happen for another year or two.

By the time that it came to closing time, there was a definite curve to my lips and I think that Rachel prided herself for actually being able to make me slightly happy. We both walked outside and, as I locked up, she talked about how her two gay dads were going to come up to New York and have dinner with her and Quinn and about how she might introduce me to them too since I'm practically Quinn's sister. I almost let my guard down to say 'I'd love to' but managed to keep my lips tight shut to prevent any slipups. I couldn't let her think I was going soft.

"Actually, I have something I want to ask you," Rachel asked, looking nervous and a bit shifty.

I raised an eyebrow at her behaviour as I passed her the keys that she had said she was going to give to Brittany. "What?" I asked.

Rachel paused for a long moment, probably thinking that it helped to build the dramatic effect. "I want to know about you and Quinn."

Well, I can't say that shocked me. I had been expecting the question for a while now actually. Quinn and I had left so much of high school in the past that we barely even spoke of it anymore and, any time it was brought up, we always managed to shift away from the topic as soon as possible. But if Rachel wanted to know what happened between me and Quinn, I was going to tell her because she had a right to know as my best friend's girlfriend.

I sighed and turned to walk down the block, in the opposite way from the car lot. "Come on," I muttered. "We'll talk over some coffee."

* * *

**_Authors Note: I'm sorry that I haven't updated in a while. There really is no excuse for it so I am really sorry. I apologise if this chapter is crap in any way whatsoever. I haven't had any sleep in, like thirty something hours so I'm really tired. Anyway, I will try and update more over the next few days if I can because after Wednesday I'm gonna be busy for a couple of weeks. Sorry..._**


	10. The Quinn Thing Part 1

I had ordered a cappuccino and Rachel ordered a black coffee. We sat at the table in the cafe in silence, her staring at me and me staring down at my hands. I didn't really know how to start the conversation.

"Why haven't you asked Quinn?" I questioned her, finally lifting my head to meet her gaze only to find that she looked away with a guilty expression on her face.

"I did. A significant number of times. But she won't answer me so I came to you."

I nodded, understanding her curiosity. And she had a right to be curious. Quinn kept her past to herself and I had a feeling that she hadn't told Rachel anything about high school because it might lead to Rachel hating me.

"I take it she told you all the stuff that happened after you transferred?" I asked her, thinking that it was pointless telling Rachel stuff that had happened that she was there to see herself.

Rachel shrugged in reply. "Not everything. But I would like to know what happened before I joined McKinley High."

I nodded again. I still wasn't sure how to start and I was fiddling with my hands nervously. I really hoped that by the time I had finished explaining Quinn and mine's high school life, Rachel didn't want to tear my guts out. I wouldn't blame her if she did though.

I took a deep breathe and started to speak about the point I believed to be of most importance in this conversation. "Well, me and Puck had known that Quinn was gay since junior high but she only came out to us when we started high school. I mean, she came out to _me, _not Puck but he was second on her list."

"She came out to _you_?" Rachel asked, confused. I bet Quinn had told her that she came out to her sister first, like she told everyone. I think that her making up her coming out story was perfectly alright. After all, she didn't want everyone to know exactly what I told Rachel next.

"She had a crush on me," I muttered, quietly but I knew Rachel had heard anyway because her mouth dropped open. "She told me one day after Cheerio's practice once everyone else had gone. I ran home afterwards. We weren't as good friends then as we are now and I didn't know how to take it. I mean, I always thought she was gay but it shocked me to know that she had feeling for me."

Rachel was looking at me with accusatory eyes. I felt sick in my stomach, knowing that what I had told her wasn't even the worst of it.

"After a while, I forgave her," I said, my voice full of guilt. "I knew that she couldn't really help what she felt. But, even though I knew I was straight, I still used her to... _satisfy_ my needs. I feel so bad about it now but I was sixteen at the time; I was curious and I was a hormonal bitch."

"That doesn't excuse your actions, Santana," Rachel growled and she made me gulp. I had barely even gotten to the worst of it and she already looked like she hated me.

"I know it was wrong," I argued back. "And, once I realised that her feeling for me were growing, I tried to stop it. But she was wondering why and she started asking if she'd done something wrong and when I told her it was because she was a _girl_ she... she just broke down. She was still my _friend_, Rachel. I just... I wanted to make her happy. So I carried on sleeping with her but then Puck and I started dating and she got angry. At the time, I thought she had no right to be. I had explained to her a million times that sex wasn't dating and we were free to continue relationships outside of our little... _agreement_. She blamed me for treating her like a sex toy and that was the end of it. We stopped being friends with benefits and we stopped being friend's altogether."

Rachel's eyes looked like they wanted to kill me. I didn't blame her. I felt so guilty about what I'd done as a teenager that sometimes I wondered why Quinn was still friends with me at all. She looked after me better than my own mother had, like she was the one trying to apologise to me. I guess, after all of these years, I hadn't really changed. I was still using her.

I watched as Rachel's face turned from glaring to confused and I knew that she was piecing one and one together. "But, Quinn was pregnant with Beth when she was sixteen. If you were dating Puck-"

"She slept with him while we were dating," I shrugged. I hadn't really cared at the time. The only reason I ever dated Puck was because he was on the football team and I was on the Cheerio's. Everyone knows that, in high school, those couples rule.

"But she had a-"

"Crush on me?" I interrupted. "Yeah, I know." I paused as the waitress came over with our drinks and thought about commenting on the ridiculous amount of time she had taken but I was in the middle of a conversation with Rachel and I knew she didn't want me to sidetrack. I took a sip of my cappuccino before continuing. "She told me, after she did it, that she just wanted me to leave Puck and go back to her. I tried explaining to her that there was _never_ any me and her.

"A couple of months later, when I found out she was pregnant, I felt so guilty about what I had done. She was pregnant because of me. At that point, I was still the only one who knew that she was gay and, when everyone else saw her baby bump, their suspicions of her being Queen Lez were gone. I was the only one who knew the full truth and, because I felt so guilty, I stayed with her through her pregnancy and even offered her a place in my home when her parents kicked her out."

Rachel's eyes softened but I could still tell that she was angry at me.

I continued to tell her everything. "Puck tried to get her back when he found out that she had been kicked out and he tried to explain to her that she'd do everything for her and the baby." I laughed mirthlessly. "She eventually screamed at him that she was gay and after that he left her alone. He was still her friend and wanted her to keep the baby but he stopped telling her that he loved her and that he would make the best husband ever."

"I doubt that," Rachel interjected.

"I do too," I agreed. "Anyway, Quinn became more and more emotional throughout the pregnancy and she kept telling me that she loved me and she wished that I loved her back. She once told me that she _knew_ I loved her too and I realised that she thought I was taking care of her because of that, not because I was her friend and I felt guilty. Anyway, I tried to keep telling her that I was straight and I wasn't interested in her like that and, after she gave birth to Beth, she seemed to accept it.

"I was really happy when you transferred, Rachel," I admitted, flicking my eyes away from her. "As much as it pained me, you were probably the best thing that had ever happened in Quinn's life and I think you still are. She had been so down and she was sulking around our house for days on end. And I knew it was my fault and that me constantly being around her wasn't helping her in the least but I could hardly move out. She even started to smoke and she got some weird tattoo and she dyed her hair _pink_. Fucking _pink_!

"And then, at the beginning of tenth grade, you appeared. And you saw her straight away and you made her change into the amazing person she is now. I don't know what you did, Rachel, but I can't help thinking you performed some sort of miracle and I am so thankful for that."

I sighed and finished my cappuccino, knowing that I'd said everything I needed to say. My explanation had reinforced in my mind why I couldn't tell Quinn about Brittany. If she knew that I was willing to be with a girl when I hadn't been willing to be with her, she'd hate me. Because of me, she had fallen pregnant and been kicked out of her house and she had started smoking (a habit that she still needed to quit). Not to mention she still had that awful tattoo on her lower back. I didn't want Quinn to hate me. Not only because of the fact that I was the most dependent person on the earth but because she was my best friend. She was my 'sista from anotha mista'. I couldn't handle her not being in my life.

"I understand if you want to punch me or something," I sighed to Rachel. "But can you wait until we get outside? Then we won't break anything."

Rachel chuckled and shook her head. "Santana, I don't want to hurt you. I don't approve of what you did and I think that you still need to earn Quinn's forgiveness but you weren't to know. You're straight, Santana. You can't help that."

That made me feel even more guilty because I wasn't entirely sure I _was_ straight anymore. "Can I tell you a secret?" I murmured.

Rachel frowned. "Of course, Santana. I like to think that we're friends and, despite your past with Quinn, I am happy that you feel that you can trust me with private things."

I paused. Did I really want to tell Rachel? "You won't tell Quinn, will you?"

Rachel's frown deepened and she looked a little concerned. "Once again, you can trust me, Santana. Although it makes me unhappy to keep things from Quinn, I will not inform her of anything you tell me."

I nodded and hesitated again. Then, looking down into my empty cup and feeling sick to my stomach, I said the words that made Rachel's eyes widen in shock.

"I have a crush on Brittany."

* * *

_**Author's Note: I know this is really short but I wanted to update to make up for me not updating for ages and also because I won't be updating for ages again on Wednesday. This is only part one, so don't worry, I plan on writing more to this chapter tomorrow. Anyway, that's the thing with Quinn :)**_


	11. The Quinn Thing Part 2

"_I have a crush on Brittany."_

Rachel stared at me. She had been for the last few minutes and her silence was starting to get on my nerves. A couple of very long minutes later, she decided that it was time to speak.

"You have a crush on Brittany?"

"That's what I said," I muttered. She was still staring at me and I got the feeling that maybe she wanted to slap me.

But all she did was take a sip of her coffee and shrug. "I can't say I didn't see this coming."

I pulled my eyebrows together in confusion. Wasn't she supposed to be mad? I just admitted I was crushing on a girl when my very _lack_ of being able to crush on a girl was what practically ruined Quinn's life.

"Don't you hate me?" I asked her, finally meeting her eyes again.

She shook her head. "I don't have any reason to hate you, Santana. You can't help who you have a crush on. But I can imagine that Quinn will be upset whenever you decide to tell her and, when that time comes, I will take her side over yours."

"But-"

"Santana," Rachel interrupted in a stern voice that made me shut up. "_Everybody_ loves Brittany. She could turn anyone with a blink of her eyes. As long as you don't announce that you've been in the closet since kindergarten, I think I can accept you having a crush on her."

I nodded and looked into my empty mug as Rachel finished her coffee. She was a wonderful person albeit annoying. If I wasn't so determined to dislike her, she'd make a really great friend. Hell, who was I kidding? She was already a great friend.

"Are you ready to go?" Rachel asked as she put down her coffee mug.

"Yeah," I murmured and I grabbed my jacket. We walked out of the cafe and back towards the parking lot.

"Santana?" Rachel asked. I looked at her and she was avoiding my eyes.

"Yes, Rachel?"

"You know Quinn?"

I chuckled. "I think so. Isn't she the person I'm living with?"

She rolled her eyes at my sarcastic reply with a smile on her face. However, the smile quickly faded and was replaced with a nervous look. "I was thinking... I was thinking about proposing to her."

I froze. Rachel was going to propose to Quinn? I thought that maybe I should discourage this idea since Quinn had seemed really happy that _she_ was going to be the one to pop the question. "Erm, can I ask why?"

Rachel stared in front of her with a small smile on her face. "Because I love her. We've been together for nearly two years now and I've loved her for twice as long and I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to get married for a while. I just like the idea of the promise, you know?"

I almost laughed at that. She and Quinn were so alike. They both wanted to be engaged more than they wanted to be married. They belonged together. But then I remembered that Quinn was the one supposed to propose and not Rachel.

"Have you got the ring yet?" I asked her, hoping to the heavens that she hadn't.

"Not yet," she shrugged and I let out a sigh of relief. Too soon it seemed. "I was hoping you'd come shopping for one with me. You've known her for half of her life and, if anyone can stop me from making a complete fool out of myself by getting the wrong ring, it's you."

I tried to think up some kind of excuse; _any_ excuse. But nothing came to mind and I realised that it was either I tell Rachel Quinn was going to propose at some point in the future or that I would be happy to go ring shopping with her. I internally groaned in frustration.

"When are we going?" I asked.

"Well, I still need to work a little more to get the money but I was thinking in a month."

I had a month to dissuade Rachel about this or get Quinn to propose. I thought that the latter was probably a lot more likely. "Just tell me a date and I'll see if I'm free," I said, forcing a smile at her as we entered the parking lot. She seemed too happy to realise that the smile wasn't reaching my eyes.

"I will," she grinned. "Thank you so much, Santana."

I just waved at her as I got into my car. I was surprised that we had managed to end the evening so well considering all the heavy stuff we had discussed in the cafe. As I drove home, I thought about telling Quinn that Rachel was also planning on proposing so she had better get on one knee soon.

* * *

I decided to keep Rachel's secret as I walked into the living room and saw Quinn eating whilst watching the TV. Rachel was willing to keep mine and I had the paranoid belief that if I told Quinn she was going to buy a ring, she might tell Quinn that I had a crush on Brittany. I doubted that she was a bitter person but it was better to be safe than sorry.

I flopped down on the couch next to Quinn and she glanced at me for a split second before staring back at the TV screen. "Where have you been?"

"I had coffee with Rachel. She asked me about high school."

I felt Quinn tense beside me and she moved a few inches away. We never talked about high school with anyone else let alone each other and, considering that all of the events centred around the two of us, it always tended to get a little awkward. I knew that it was now because Quinn was refusing to look at me.

"What did you tell her?" she asked, taking a bite of whatever it was she was eating. It looked like rice with some kind of sauce. I briefly wondered if there was any left in the kitchen before answering her question.

"Everything," I shrugged.

"Including...?"

I nodded at her and she saw me out of the corner of her eye. "How did she take all of it?"

I sighed and lifted my knees to my chest so I could wrap my arms around them. "She said that she doesn't agree with what I did but she isn't that mad at me."

Quinn nodded and let out a forced cough that signalled the conversation was over. "Great... So, what are you doing this weekend?"

I was about to tell her nothing but then I remembered my date with Brittany. "I was going to go to Brittany's," I said. "I don't know when. She said she'd text me."

"You two are getting along well," Quinn stated. I didn't know whether or not she was happy about it because she sounded emotionless when she said it.

I looked at her while she continued to watch the TV. "Is that okay?"

She glanced at me and shrugged. "I guess so." She paused for a moment and then turned to me so that she could look me in the eye. "About what Rachel said, is it true?"

I froze. I knew that she was talking about when Rachel told her Brittany and I were practically a couple but I didn't know what to say. She to take my non-reply as some kind of confirmation and she stood up with a blank face.

"Awesome. I'm really happy for you, Santana," she muttered, not sounding happy at all. She walked out of the room to put her plate in the kitchen and, when she walked back in to go upstairs, she didn't even glance at me. I found myself unable to say anything because, really, what could I say? I couldn't exactly say she was wrong but she wasn't entirely right either. Me and Britt weren't a couple. But I figured out that even if I said that, I still wanted us to be a couple. And I really didn't know how Quinn would take that.

* * *

_**Author's Note: Another short part to 'The Quinn Thing'. There's another two parts to this chapter so I'll have something to update with tomorrow and Wednesday. Then I'll stick the whole thing together and it won't look short anymore :) Yay! Anyway, thank you everyone who's reviewed and don't worry, I am getting to the part where Brittany tells Santana her secret but I'm trying to stick with the plot I have so it might take some time. Hopefully not too much time though :) Anyway, I'll update again tomorrow :)**_


	12. The Quinn Thing Part 3

I opened Quinn's door, glad for once that she hadn't locked it. She was curled up on her bed and facing away from me. I could briefly make out her shoulders shaking and it was enough to let me know that she was crying.

"Quinn," I breathed, guilt flooding me. I walked over to the bed and sat down. "Quinn, I'm so sorry."

She shook her head and grabbed a pillow from beside her to put over her ears. I sighed at her childish behaviour but knew that I probably deserved it. It was then that I noticed the smell and the smoke in the room. There was an ashtray on her bedside table and a few stumped out cigarettes inside. I growled as I walked around the bed and sat in front of her so that she could see me.

"Quinn," I said, pulling the pillow away from her. "Listen to me. You're overreacting."

She narrowed her eyes and lifted herself on her elbow to look more intimidating. It didn't. It looked slightly pathetic. "Overreacting? You're gay for this girl you've known only a few weeks and you couldn't do that for _me_? Someone you knew for _six years_? You practically destroyed my life!"

I winced at the accusation. "Quinn, I don't know how many times I need to apologise-"

"Well, you haven't apologised enough!" she interrupted, sitting up fully now and glaring down on me.

I stood up and snarled at her. "What do you want me to do, Quinn? I can't go back in fucking time! I can't change what I did. It's not like I _knew_ this was going to happen. I don't even know if I _am_ gay. It's just Brittany." I took a deep breathe and looked her straight in the eyes. "I can't help this, Quinn. You should know better than anyone."

"What is _that_ supposed to mean?" she growled.

I shrugged, trying not to shout at her and keep myself calm. "Well, you fell for someone you thought was straight and who was in a long distance relationship. It didn't stop you though, did it?"

She narrowed her eyes further at me. "Don't you dare bring Rachel into this?"

"Why not?" I sneered. "She's your girlfriend, isn't she? Soon to be your fiancé? I'm pretty sure she should be a reason not to get hung up over me."

She closed her eyes and sighed. "Santana, I'm not in the mood for this. Yes, I love Rachel but you were my first everything, okay? It's hard not to get upset."

I frowned and the guilt settled on me. "Quinn, I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"

"I know. Can you please just leave me alone? Just go."

I nodded, feeling dejected but understanding why she didn't want to see me and I walked out of her room. When I was in my own room, I picked up my phone and called Puck.

"Hey, San. S'up?"

I sighed. "Can I come over to yours for a bit? Quinn wants some space."

He paused for a moment. "Sure, San. Whatever you want."

"Thanks."

* * *

I knocked on Puck's door and waited for him to answer. I had left mine and Quinn's apartment after telling her that I was going to Puck's. She hadn't really replied so I wasn't sure if she heard me but, considering the way she was tucked under her covered with a hand dangling out of the bed holding a cigarette and the box lying on the table with a lighter, I figured she was going to be there a while and she would barely even realise I was gone.

Puck opened the door and, noticing the sad look on my face, surrounded me in an embrace. I pushed him back, feeling guilty that I was getting comfort whilst Quinn was home alone. Hopefully not alone anymore though. I had called Rachel on my way over and told her to get her ass round to our apartment and cheer Quinn up. I was sure she could manage that.

"What happened?" Puck asked as I walked into his apartment. I flung myself face first onto his couch and just lay there, not answering him. "I'm guessing it was your fault?"

I nodded my head and groaned. I hated making Quinn upset. Sure, it was fun to get her wound up and make her so angry that she wanted to kill me, but when she was crying and looked at me with hate in those tear filled eyes, I felt like I wanted to die. She was my best friend and, whenever she hurt, I hurt. So making her feel this pain was killing me inside.

"What happened, San?" he repeated, picking up my feet to sit down and then placing them in his lap.

"I have a crush on Brittany," I mumbled into the cushion beneath me.

Puck chuckled. "Like I didn't see that coming," he said sarcastically.

"Quinn hates me because I like her, Puck." I sighed and flipped myself over so I could see his face. "She doesn't understand how I can like a girl now when I told her I was straight."

Puck narrowed his eyes and pulled his eyebrows together in confusion. "I thought I was straight until I met Finn."

I rolled my eyes. "Quinn doesn't know about _you_, Puck. She thinks that I just didn't want to be with her. I may have, slightly, just a little bit, had a go at her."

Puck's shoulders shook as he chuckled again silently. I understood why. It was just so much like me and Quinn to fight over anything. "What were _you_ having a go at _her_ for?"

I looked down at my hands where I was rubbing them together out of nervousness. "I might have criticised her pulling Rachel."

"Why?"

"Because she was saying that I said that I was straight and I was angry at her because I can't exactly help how I feel about Brittany and I told her that she should know that because that's what happened with Rachel. She _knew_ Rachel had a boyfriend. She thought she was straight, for fuck's sake! But she still went after her."

"Santana..." Puck started and I knew he was going to say something that would either make me really mad or would make me feel really guilty. "I'm sorry, I know you can't help having feelings for Brittany but Quinn was in love with you. She risked everything just because she wanted you to love her back. Her parents kicked her out for being pregnant, she started smoking, she got a tattoo, she lost all of her popularity in high school and you know how important that is to people like us. She's lucky that her parents took her back after we decided Shelby would be a great mum for Beth. Don't get me wrong, I love Beth and I don't think of her as an accident, I think of her as a miracle but Quinn... her life changed for the worst just because she wanted to be with you. And you told her you were straight. You told her you could never _be_ with a girl. Sure, you could sleep with them and make out with them but you could never love a girl. That's what you said. And now you have a _crush_ on Brittany and, well, of course she's going to feel like you've betrayed her or something. I don't think it's your fault, San. I just don't think you should be pointing fingers either."

I sat up on the couch with my legs still in Puck's lap and I wrapped my arms around his neck in a hug. He hugged me back and I sighed. "You're right, Puck."

"Aren't I always?" he joked.

I laughed a little and then closed my eyes, sighing again. "I didn't mean to hurt her."

"I know. You'd have to tell her eventually."

I nodded against his chest and felt myself starting to get tired. "Can I stay here tonight?"

I knew he was smirking as he tightened his arms around me.

"To sleep," I growled at him, slapping his arm and then going back to hug him.

"Yeah, San," he whispered, kissing the top of my head in his brotherly kind of way. "You can stay here as long as you want."

* * *

_**Author's Note: A bit of a late time of day to update but at least I have. I will try my best to upload a bigger part tomorrow but I'll be busy for pretty much the whole day (It's my 18th, yay!) but I will definately be uploading something. Also, to anyone who thinks that maybe Quinn is overreacting, like I've written, Santana was her first **_**everything_ so I think she has a right to be a little pissed. Don't worry though, I'll be mending their friendship as soon as possible._**


	13. Apologies

_Jeez, guys, I'm so sorry. I hate to make excuses but I feel like you deserve an explanation. Anyway, I finally started uni and everythings been really busy with coursework and exams and lessons and stuff so I forgot that I was actually writing this. I remembered a couple of months ago that I was (it's been six months since the last update... so sorry) but I've had a new laptop 'cause I needed one (my old laptop was the most fucked up peice of technology in the world) so I moved everything from my old laptop onto a couple of memory sticks 'cause I don't know how to move it straight onto this one. Anyway, I don't really know where I put the memory stick. I had a look back at home over Christmas but I don't think they're there. I'll try looking in my flat for it again and if I can't I'll just try and rewrite the plot, I think I can remember how it was supposed to go but, you know, the actual story being right in front of me is nice. I'm so sorry, guys. I normally hate it when people do this. I'll try and update the story as soon as I can. Sorry. MTN x_


	14. Apologies (Gosh, This Looks Familiar)

I can't even say I'm sorry… I am but I know you won't believe me. I did try and look for the memory stick but it's disappeared. I must have chucked it out when I moved or something. I know me not finding it isn't really much of an excuse; I still know which direction the story is headed in. But for some reason I don't really have the inspiration to write this anymore (:SPOILER: and it's not because Brittana split). At some point I will come back to this but it might be a long wait so I get if you don't really care anymore. Anyway, I want to write something else so don't get angry at me for not carrying on with this (I will eventually…). I'm sorry, guys. Real fricking sorry. I hate it when other people do this and you end up waiting six months for someone to update something (. and I know it's been more than six months T.T). I feel really horrible. So sorry. MTN x


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